Memory
by IcedHeat
Summary: Carter and Daniel are captured offworld and Jack, Jacob, Teal'c and Pete Shanahan launch a mission to rescue them. SJ ship
1. Attempted Rescue

Chapter One 

General Jack O'Neill walked in to the control room, just as the Stargate activated.

"What've we got?" General O'Neill asked over the noise of the klaxon.

"Offworld activation, sir. Receiving IDC now… It's the Tok'ra, sir." The gate technician replied.

"Oh Christ. Let 'em in." O'Neill was worried. The Tok'ra hadn't been in touch since the alliance had gone sour. What the hell did they want now?

"Sir, the Tok'ra haven't been around in a while," the tech said as he opened the iris, "what do you think they want?"

"No idea." Jack replied as Jacob Carter stepped through the event horizon.

Jack sauntered into the gateroom where Jacob was waiting at the bottom of the ramp. "Jacob!"

"Jack? You're alive?" Jacob sounded incredulous.

Jack looked down at himself, as if to check that he was, in fact, alive. "Yep, still here. Why, you heard otherwise?"

"We heard you died after Anubis' defeat."

"Apparently, rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Jack smiled.

Jacob grinned in return. "Where's George?" He started to ask, only to be interrupted by Walter dashing into the gateroom, wielding his clipboard.

"General, if you could just sign these…" he said, thrusting the clipboard at Jack.

"Oh for cryin' out loud…" Jack muttered half-heartedly, scrawling on the dockets Walter handed him and thrusting the clipboard back at the smaller man, who scurried away.

"General?" Jacob questioned, wonderingly.

"Yeah, I never thought I'd make it either. I guess there's only so many times you can save the world before they force it on ya." Jack shrugged, amused by Jacob's amazement. "General Hamm- _George­," _he corrected, "is the big boss now, head of Homeworld Security."

"A lot's happened while I've been away." Jacob said.

"Yeah. Lieutenant Colonel Carter's out with SG-1 right now, but they're due back in a coupla hours." Jack grinned at Jacob, knowing the older man hadn't heard anything beyond 'Lieutenant Colonel Carter'.

"She got promoted again, and I missed it." He sounded a mixture of elated and sad.

"Don't sweat it Jacob, she knows why you couldn't be there."

"Yeah…"

"So… lunch?" O'Neill offered, gesturing in the general direction of the commissary. Jacob nodded and the two men wandered out of the room.

Jack looked at his watch. Jacob had been exhausted so he'd sent him off to rest with the promise that he'd send someone for him when SG-1 got back. The only problem was they were now seven hours overdue and he was pretty sure Jacob would wake up soon, tired or not.

"Unscheduled offworld activation!"

"Thank god!" Jack jumped out of his chair and left his office, bumping into Jacob in the briefing room.

"Jack they're over seven hours –"

"I know." Jack cut him off and both men hurried towards the control room.

"Who is it?" The gate technician spun when he heard his CO's voice.

"Uh… receiving IDC now, sir. It's SG-1."

"Open the iris."

Unfortunately, the gate technician was new. "But, sir, procedure states that an overdue team's IDC is locked out –"

"Open the damn iris, sergeant." O'Neill growled.

"Sir, yessir." The sergeant stopped just short of actually saluting Jack.

The familiar sound of metal on metal sounded in the gateroom. O'Neill stalked towards the stairs, Jacob following close behind.

As they reached the gateroom they were greeted by the sight of Teal'c's bulk diving through the event horizon.

"Stand down!" O'Neill yelled at the gateroom SFs as he sprinted up the ramp towards his friend.

"T, you okay?"

Teal'c hauled himself up, using his staff weapon for support, as Jack reached him.

"I am fine, O'Neill." The big Jaffa replied.

"Where are Daniel and Carter?"

"We were attacked. ColonelCarter and DanielJackson were captured. O'Neill, JacobCarter, I am sorry, their numbers were too great."

"Not your fault Teal'c. Do you know who got 'em?" _Please don't say Baal. Please don't say Baal. Please don't say –_

"Our intel suggested that the planet was occupied by a female Goa'uld serving under Baal. The Jaffa seemed to know of us. After they had captured ColonelCarter and DanielJackson they shouted for you and I, O'Neill. When they could not find us they headed towards their mothership. O'Neill, I am afraid that this was an attempt by Baal to recapture you."

When Jack didn't say anything for a few moments Jacob said, "We have to help them, Jack."

"I know that." Jack said softly. Then he turned on his heel and strode from the gateroom. Teal'c and Jacob exchanged a look before hurrying after him.

As they headed towards Jack's office a few people were unfortunate enough to try to demand some of the General's time. Jacob noted that at first Jack just waved them away. The fourth person, however, was not so lucky.

"Uh, General if you could-"

"What?" O'Neill yelled, loud enough for two SFs to come running into the corridor.

"Uh, sorry sir. If you could just…" the underling cringed under the O'Neill glare but still manfully tried to hand the General his clipboard.

O'Neill snatched it from him and drew a large cross over the page.

"Anything else, Airman?" He snarled nastily and stalked into his office, not waiting for the reply.

When Jacob and Teal'c entered Jack's office he was already on the phone, listening to someone on the other end, impatiently.

"I don't care if he's in a meeting. Get him on the phone." He paused while the person on the other end spoke to him in a loud irritated voice. "Wait there, gotta check something." Jack moved the phone away from his ear and looked at it curiously, holding it up to the light. He put the phone to his ear again. "Yep, I _was_ right. This phone's definitely red. Put Hammond on the line _now_."

Jack's fingers tapped impatiently on his desk as he waited.

"George!" Jack exclaimed when Hammond finally came on the phone. "Yeah, I know you were… yessir it's important… well I've messed up again, sir, I've lost two thirds of SG-1." He paused while Hammond asked him something. "Baal, sir… I think so too… I need to go, sir… Thought you might say that, sir." Jack hung up the phone.

Despite the situation, Jacob smiled inwardly at Jack's unconscious reversion to addressing Hammond as 'sir'.

When Jack remained silent, Jacob knew he had to prompt him to get any information. "And?"

"He says I'm not allowed to go. He'll be here in twenty-four hours and we'll decide what to do then." Jack said, rising and exiting his office.

Jacob and Teal'c merely stood looking at each other a moment, before once again hurrying after Jack.

They caught up with him in the gear-up room, half ready in his field uniform.

"Jack?" Jacob questioned.

"Jacob?" Jack replied, pulling on his flak vest and fastening it.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"It looks like you're preparing to disobey a direct order."

"Ten points for observation." Jack said, bending to lace up his boots.

"Oh." Jacob paused. Jack looked up at him, waiting for the former general to bawl him out for insubordination. "Good." Jacob said.

Seeing the shock on Jack's face, Jacob went on, "Jack, she's my _daughter_."

Jack nodded and turned to Teal'c. "T, you okay to go?"

"I am ready to embark again, O'Neill."

"Good. Re-equip yourself and get Jacob some SGC gear. Meet me in the gateroom when you're done."

As he moved towards the door Walter Harriman's voice came over the base speaker system, "General O'Neill to the briefing room. General O'Neill to the briefing room."

Jack glanced at Jacob and Teal'c before heading off in the direction of the briefing room.

Jacob and Teal'c proceeded to gear up.

Half an hour later Jacob and Teal'c unexpectedly found themselves waiting in the gateroom for Jack.

When he finally arrived Jacob turned to him and asked, "Where have you been?"

"Had an urgent phone call." Jack responded.

"From who?"

"Pete Shanahan. Carter's… fiancé." Jack said.

"Sam got engaged… to him?" Jacob asked. He seemed a little shocked at the prospect.

Jacob's reaction puzzled Jack. "Yeah. Why?"

Jacob hastily tried to cover his reaction. "Nothing. Nothing. Just…uh… surprised. How long have they been together?"

"How should I know?" Jack said tersely.

The two men stood in silence, looking at the inactive gate.

"O'Neill, should we not depart?" Teal'c asked.

"In a minute Teal'c. Gotta wait for someone." Jack didn't sound all too pleased at this prospect.

Teal'c frowned. "For whom are we waiting?" He asked, just as the doors to the gateroom slid aside.

Pete Shanahan entered, accompanied by two armed airmen. He was dressed in SGC field uniform, wearing a holstered nine-millimetre. Teal'c gratefully noted that the man carried no other weapons. He didn't entirely trust Shanahan.

Jacob turned to Jack. "Jack?" he questioned.

Jack merely shrugged. He turned and waved at the gate technician. "Dial it up."

Shanahan surveyed the room. He had met Teal'c once before, he didn't really like or trust the guy: he was an alien. Then there was O'Neill. The man stood loosely, his hands resting on the P-90 strapped to his chest. Shanahan didn't trust him either. He was an authority figure with no respect for authority. The way Sam talked about him, he was a hero. Shanahan thought O'Neill might have a 'thing' for Sam.

Shanahan only recognised the other man in the room from the photographs Sam used to have on the walls at her old house. Jacob Carter. Sam's dad.

Jacob stared at Shanahan.

The man began to look uncomfortable under the stern gaze. He extended a hand towards Jacob. "Mr. Carter, I'm Pete Shanahan, Sam's –"

Jacob ignored the hand. "I know who you are." He cut him off. "And it's _General_ Carter." He added, and continued to stare at the man.

Jack suddenly found his boots very interesting.

Next to the other three men, Shanahan felt very under-equipped. Teal'c carried some sort of staff-weapon, and the thing Sam had referred to as a 'zat'. He also carried a knife in a sheath attached to his uniform. Jacob carried a zat and a nine-mil. O'Neill was the most heavily armed. As well as his Beretta nine-mil, he had a knife on his uniform, a zat, and the P-90, which he was absent-mindedly drumming his thumbs on.

Eventually, Selmak grew tired of Jacob's staring and took control. "O'Neill, before we depart I must tell you something." Selmak reached into a pocket and brought out a small vial. It was filled with a clear liquid.

Shanahan visibly jumped at the sound of Jacob's voice. _He didn't know,_ Jacob thought. Selmak merely gave a mental shrug.

Jack glanced at Selmak, "What is it?"

"We came here to bring you this drug."

"What's it do?" Jack asked, making no move to take the vial.

"It completely suppresses a person's memory. We thought it would be useful for SG teams."

"How?" Jack asked, almost drowned out by the new gate tech's boisterous "Chevron four, encoded." He briefly glared in the tech's direction, who visibly flinched.

"Were they to be captured, they could erase their memories and pose no security threat to Earth," Selmak paused, knowing O'Neill wasn't going to like this, "or its allies."

At this Jack turned and glared, "Let me guess, this is the Tok'ra's way of saying: 'we'll be friends again, but we still don't trust you guys'."

Selmak's head dipped and Jacob gave Jack wry grin, "Got it in one, Jack."

Again Shanahan seemed slightly freaked out by his future father-in-law's sudden vocal change.

"And you're bringin' this with us?" Jack asked.

"Yes. Just in case."

Jack gave him a look. "We'll talk about this when we get back, _Dad_."

The gate technician's voice came over the speakers "Chevron seven, locked."

The _kawoosh_ filled the gateroom. Again Shanahan visibly jumped.

"Teal'c take point, Shanahan you next. Then you Jake. I'll watch your six."

Teal'c nodded and moved up the ramp. Shanahan followed the Jaffa, somewhat reluctantly.

When both had passed through the gate Jacob turned to Jack and said, "Why's he coming?"

"He insisted." Jack said.

Jacob just shook his head, gave Jack a 'You _will _tell me later' look, and headed through the event horizon.

"Gotta love those Tok'ra." Jack muttered, before following.

On the other side of the wormhole Jack was greeted by a firefight. He ran and hid behind the DHD, began providing cover fire for Shanahan, who seemed to be freaking out.

Teal'c and Jacob, however, appeared to be holding their own.

"Shanahan, goddamit! You're a cop! Return fire!" Jack yelled at the man.

"But… but…" The man was obviously in shock.

"Do it!" Jack barked.

Shanahan finally managed to fire on the Jaffa.

Jack looked to his friends, just in time to see a staff weapon blast glance off Teal'c's shoulder. "Teal'c!" He yelled.

"Go!" Teal'c yelled, firing at the advancing Jaffa.

When Jack didn't move, merely returned fire, Shanahan glared at him. "You heartless bastard! You're just gonna leave him there!" he growled at Jack, who recoiled in shock. Before Jack could react Shanahan was on his feet, running to Teal'c's position.

"Shanahan, get back!" Jack yelled. Then watched helplessly as Shanahan got hit by a zat blast. Moments later and Jacob too had been taken down while trying to grab Shanahan. Jack remained crouched behind the DHD, firing at the Jaffa.

"O'Neill!" He heard Teal'c shout. "Go! I will provide cover."

Jack nodded at the Jaffa's reasoning. He was more use to them all from the outside, less if taken captive. Teal'c would be okay, and he'd take care of Jacob and Shanahan.

"O'Neill! Go!" Teal'c yelled, and began firing. Jack stood and ran, still firing, for the treeline. He didn't stop till he was well away.

Oddly, the Jaffa made no attempt to follow. Instead, they headed to their mistress's fortress, taking their new prisoners with them.


	2. Sam's Memories

Chapter Two

It was dark by the time Jack reached the grounded mothership. Thanking all his lucky stars that the outside of the pyramid was relatively unguarded, he sneaked into the palace.

This mothership was different in layout and design to any Jack had been on before and he soon realised he had absolutely no idea where the cells were, and, Special Ops trained or not, there was only so long he could sneak around on a Goa'uld ship before getting caught.

His cheerful train of thought was interrupted by a piercing scream, coming from a room to Jack's left. He sneaked a look though the doorway.

The doorway opened out onto a darkened balcony, below which was something that looked like an amphitheatre. The lighting was such that anyone on the balcony could not be seen by anyone in the room below.

The scream came again. And now that he could hear it better, Jack knew who it was. '_Carter. Damn.'_

Jack looked over the balcony to see what was going on in the room.

Sam Carter was strapped to a raised platform. Beside her was a large screen, in her head was what looked, to Jack, like the memory recall device that Hathor had used on them almost six years previously.

Sam was obviously in a lot of physical pain as well as seeming utterly confused. Jack wondered if she'd been given something like that 'Blood of Sokar' thing again.

On Sam's other side stood a woman. From her voice and demeanour she was a Goa'uld.

The Goa'uld spoke. "We have your friends. You will tell us where to find the one called O'Neill."

Sam didn't reply, just shook her head. Unable, or unwilling to answer.

The Goa'uld smiled at Sam's resistance. She raised her hand in which she held a pain stick. She touched the weapon to Sam's stomach and discharged it.

Immediately the screen swam with horrible images from Sam's memory.

Once the agony had subsided the Goa'uld tried again.

"Where is O'Neill?" She asked.

"He's not here." Sam said though gritted teeth. "He doesn't go off-world anymore." This much information seemed to exhaust her, and she stopped struggling against her restraints.

Her uniform was torn in several places Jack didn't want to think about. She was cut and bruised too, showing the pain stick hadn't been the only torture implement used.

Jack gritted his teeth, remembering when Baal had tortured him.

This time the Goa'uld actually laughed. "We know he is here, Colonel Carter. My Jaffa saw him come through the Stargate along with the shol'va, Teal'c; a Tok'ra named Selmak, and another man we do not know the identity of. We have captured the others, but O'Neill managed to elude my Jaffa. He is _here_, Colonel Carter."

"No…" Sam's voice was broken, distraught.

"No matter. I believe O'Neill will come to us. Perhaps were we to hurt you further…" She touched the pain stick to Carter's stomach again.

Before Jack had fully realised what he was doing, he said, "Don't." His voice carried into the room below.

"Who is that?" The Goa'uld asked, her tone of voice indicating that she was enjoying this immensely.

Sam's memory provided the answer. The screen displayed a montage of images of Jack.

"O'Neill." The Goa'uld said, happily.

She brought out a knife and held it to Carter's throat. "Do not attempt to harm us, or Colonel Carter will die."

When no reply was forthcoming, the Goa'uld's grip tightened on Sam. "You will disarm yourself and emerge from the shadows slowly.

"Like hell I will." Jack replied.

The Goa'uld laughed again. "Ah, O'Neill, you do not understand. I will kill her, and every one of your friends, until you comply with my wishes, and those of my lord Baal."

There was silence from the balcony. Then the sound on Jack's P-90 hitting the ground. Various clunks and clinks followed that were the sounds of O'Neill completely disarming himself.

He found the stairs and began to descend into the light, slowly, hands up. He was wearing only his basic uniform, having removed his flak vest.

"Thank you for your co-operation." The Goa'uld said.

"No problem. You can let her go now." Jack said.

The Goa'uld ignored his suggestion. "So you are the one called O'Neill." The Goa'uld said.

"I am," Jack replied. "And you are?"

"Sir?" Sam sounded incredulous; as if she wasn't sure he was really there.

"Its okay, Carter."

"It is not." The Goa'uld said. "Take her away!" She commanded imperiously. Her Jaffa began to move towards Sam. "But first…" The Goa'uld waved a hand in Jack's direction. Four Jaffa aimed their staff weapons at Jack. They fired. Jack fell to the ground, obviously dead.

Sam screamed. The Jaffa dragged her from the room.

The cells were cold. The Jaffa had thrown Sam in with her friends about two hours ago. They'd left the memory device in her head, and had set up the screen outside, so that her friends had to watch the awful memories roiling around in her mind.

Every attempt they made to talk to her or comfort her was met as though they were trying to hurt her. Even Jacob and Pete Shanahan got this reaction. Teal'c ended up with scratches down his cheek.

"Its like she doesn't even know us!" Shanahan exclaimed, frustrated.

His outburst was followed by a whimper from Sam and the screen began displaying images of horrible memories again.

Jacob glared at Shanahan, then said, "She is severely traumatised."

Shanahan, visibly chastened, did not reply.

Eventually Daniel said quietly, "Wonder what's happened to Jack?"

He hadn't been quiet enough. Sam screamed. The screen showed Jack walking into the room where they had tortured Sam. His hands were up.

_/"So you are the one called O'Neill." The Goa'uld said._

"_I am." Jack was unarmed. "And you are?"_

"_Sir?" Sam seemed vaguely coherent, but incredulous; as if she wasn't sure he was really there._

"_Its okay, Carter."_

"_It is not." The Goa'uld said. "Take her away!" _

_The Jaffa began to move towards Sam. "But first…" The Goa'uld waved a hand in Jack's direction. Four Jaffa fired their staff weapons at him. Jack fell to the ground, dead._

_Sam screamed./_

"Oh god." Daniel whispered.

"This does not make sense." Teal'c said.

"What?" Daniel asked. He was too stricken by the death of his friend to really think.

"Why would Baal go to the trouble of having us captured, only to kill O'Neill?"

"Teal'c has a point, Daniel." Jacob said.

No one spoke for a long time. Sam sat shivering and sobbing in the corner of the cell.

About an hour later the doors leading down to the cells opened. The occupants of the cell instinctively moved to hide Sam from view. Two Jaffa marched to a point in front of the cells. They were followed by…

"Jack!" Daniel yelled.

"Silence!" One of the Jaffa screeched pushing his staff weapon through the bars to shove Jackson backwards. O'Neill appeared unmoved.

Jack was still wearing his BDU's; there were holes in the material.

"O'Neill?" Teal'c questioned.

Jack's eyes flashed. "Shol'va!" He hissed, his guttural tone revealing the symbiote that was really speaking.

The shock in the cell was palpable.

"Leave us!" The Goa'uld inside O'Neill barked, waving a hand in a dismissive gesture that was just too… _Jack._

'_Wait a minute…'_ Daniel thought, narrowing his eyes.

"My lord!" One of the Jaffa protested.

"Kree!" The Goa'uld yelled. "_Leave us_! Do not return until I call for you!"

The two Jaffa abruptly turned and exited the room. Closing the door behind them. The expression on the Goa'uld's face softened, into one that, while better, was still quite unlike Jack.

"Do not be alarmed. I am Nerron, I am Tok'ra."

"I know you." Selmak replied, inclining his head.

Before Nerron could speak Teal'c interrupted. "How can we be sure that you are indeed Nerron?"

Nerron nodded and his head dropped to his chest. When it came up it was wearing an irritated expression that was so Jack that Daniel sighed in relief and Teal'c visibly relaxed.

"Damn sneaky Tok'ra…" Jack was muttering.

"O'Neill, are you well?" Teal'c asked.

"I'm fine, Teal'c. You? How's the shoulder?"

"I am also fine." Teal'c said, smiling at his friend.

"Daniel? Jacob? Shanahan?" Jack said looking at each of them in turn.

"We're all fine, Jack" Daniel said. "What happened to you?"

But Jack wasn't listening. "Where's Carter?" He asked.

"She's here. Tell us what happened." Daniel said evasively.

"They shot me. I woke up in another damn sarcophagus, tied up. Then they stuck the snake in my head. Nerron explained that he was an undercover Tok'ra –"

"I'll bet you took some convincing." Jacob said, ruefully.

Jack nodded. "Then _my lady_ he said sarcastically, meaning the Goa'uld who had captured them, "suggested I might like to interrogate the prisoners myself. For interrogate, read torture." He paused, "Now, where's Carter?"

"She's in bad shape, Jack. She isn't really with it. She doesn't know who we are." Daniel said.

"Is that what happened to Teal'c's face?" Jack asked, indicating the large scratch marks.

Daniel nodded. "They left that thing going." He added, pointing to the memory screen.

"Stand back," was all Jack said. He raised his hand, which had on it a ribbon device, which he used to retract the cell doors into the ceiling. He walked into the cell, saw Sam and moved towards her.

"Jack, I don't think you should-" Jacob was cut off by Sam's warning growl and Jack jumping back slightly.

Jack stood in thought for a moment, before turning to Jacob. "Jake, please don't kill me." He said.

Jacob shot him a puzzled look.

Jack was already moving back towards Sam. He stopped just out of her range and _yelled._ "Lieutenant Colonel Carter! On your feet!"

Sam's body responded before her tortured mind could stop her.

Behind Jack, the memory screen flickered to life.

_/Sam was sitting on the deck of the _Prometheus_, she looked a mess._

_Jack's voice came from nowhere. "All right Carter, come on, on your feet, let's go."_

_Sam looked up to see him standing in darkness in the doorway." I was wondering when you were going to show up."_

_Jack walked into the room. He was dressed in civvies. "You just gonna sit there?"_

"_Too tired, sir." _

_This seemed to amuse Jack. "Samantha, I'm a figment of your imagination. You're gonna call me Sir?" He said, sinking down next to her._

"_Old habit. Sorry." Sam said, she really did sound tired._

"_So, you gonna save yourself or what?"_

"_I've tried."_

"_Just giving up then?"_

"_I just don't know what else to do right now."_

"_You'll think of something." Jack sounded absolutely certain._

"_Came to give me a pep talk?" Sam asked._

"_That's what friends are for."_

"_Friends?"_

"_Hey. This is you talking here. Might as well be honest."_

"_What if I quit the Air Force? Would that change anything or is it just an excuse?"_

"_I would never ask you to give up your career." Jack said_

"_Because you don't feel anything for me?" Sam challenged._

"_Carter." Jack admonished._

"_I'd let you go right now if I knew."_

"_That easy?"_

"_I didn't say it would be easy."_

"_Then what's stopping you if you really wanna know?"_

"_I'm trying."_

"_Maybe it's not me that's the problem here. Let's face it, I'm not that complex." Jack said._

"_Me?" Sam asked._

"_Sam. I'm a safe bet."_

"_As long as I'm thinking about you, setting my sights on what I think is unobtainable, there's no chance of being hurt by someone else."_

"_Jacob was right. You deserve more." Jack said. "I will always be there for you, no matter what. Believe me."_

"_So what now?" Sam asked._

"_Go save your ass."_

"_One last thing."_

_The next second she was kissing Jack; his hands were in her hair._

_Then… they weren't._

"_Never mind." Sam said./_

Daniel glanced at Shanahan, who looked apoplectic. Luckily Shanahan refrained from saying anything, probably due to the fact that Jacob would probably kill him if he upset Sam again.

Then Sam's mind finally caught up with her body. She tried to hit out at Jack, but he ducked and spun her around, holding her gently, but forcefully against the wall. He kicked her ankles together, to show he didn't have any intention of either raping or hurting her.

She struggled, raw sounds coming from her throat. Jack held her gently, but firmly.

"Shh." He soothed. "Carter, its okay. You're safe now."

The images behind him belied his words. "Oh for cryin' out loud… go to your safe place, Carter." It had been a sort of joke, but the images changed.

_/Sam was with Cassie, many years previously. She was pushing her on the swings at the park./_

_/Sam was sitting on Janet Fraiser's family room carpet, slightly inebriated. She and the doctor were laughing heartily at something./_

_/Sam was floating in one of Apophis' death gliders, just after they defeated him the first time. She was looking up at the Earth. The sight was breathtaking./_

_/Sam was crouched down behind a rock at the destroyed Alpha Site. Jack was beside her. _

"_You wanna get up?" Jack asked. _

_Sam was obviously exhausted. "I just need to rest for a minute." She replied._

_Jack looked down at her for a moment, then said, "C'mere." _

_He put his arm around her and she leaned into him./_

"What the hell!" Shanahan, who had apparently forgotten his earlier warning, exclaimed.

Daniel, Jacob and Teal'c all glared at the man. Jack ignored him, as Sam, having been almost relaxed, was starting to panic again.

All of the men turned to look at the screen when they heard Sam's voice.

_/"What do you mean, nursery? Where's Cassie going to sleep?" Sam asked Pete._

"_I didn't think she'd be staying with us."_

"_I don't care what you thought, Pete! Cassie is like a daughter to me!"_

_They were in Sam's den, Shanahan was sitting comfortably on the couch and Sam was standing in front of him glaring. _

"_She's not your daughter though, is she? And she'll be fine, we'll get a pull out sofa for when she comes to stay."_

"_Don't be ridiculous!" Sam shouted._

"_Look, Sam, I'm not makin' room in my new house for some alien kid who –"_

"_What!" It wasn't Sam who yelled this time. It was Cassie herself._

_Pete and Sam both looked like they didn't know what to say. Finally Sam said, "Cassie…"_

"_What did your **boyfriend**__just say about me?" Cassie raged at Sam._

"_He didn't mean it like that –"_

"_Oh for cryin' out loud, Sam!" Cassie yelled, sounding remarkably like Jack, "When are you gonna wake up?" Cassie stormed out of the room into the kitchen. Sam followed her. Pete flicked on the TV, unconcerned._

_In the kitchen Cassie was dialling Sam's cordless phone._

"_Cassie… Cassie, stop. It's one in the morning, who are you calling?"_

_Cassie ignored her. Then, "Hello? Jack? Were you asleep? … Yes I'm fine…. The flight was fine…. I'm fine, honestly, I just need to ask you a favour… Can I come stay at your place this weekend? … Well I **was** gonna stay at Sam's but I don't think she has room… No we didn't have a fight... **Please**, Jack … Okay, thanks… see you soon." The teenager hung up the phone. _

"_Cassie, you don't have to stay at General O'Neill's." Sam protested._

"_I'm not staying in this house while **he's** here, Sam. I'm sorry." Cassie turned and left the kitchen. _

_Sam followed her as she collected the bag she'd dropped by the front door. _

"_Cassie…"_

"_I'm gonna wait outside for Jack. I'll call you tomorrow, Sam." Cassie exited the house._

_Sam looked after her, watched her from the window until she saw Jack's truck pull up. Cassie got in and the truck pulled away./_

The image faded and was replaced.

_/Sam entered the new house that she shared with Pete Shanahan. He was standing in the hallway. _

"_You're late." Shanahan sounded angry._

"_My team was delayed." Sam replied. She looked very tired._

"_By what?" _

"_You know I can't tell you."_

_Suddenly, Shanahan lost his temper. "I'm sick of this!"_

_Sam looked surprised. "Sick of what?"_

"_You, going off to work and me not knowing what's going on!" His anger seemed to subside slightly. "Thankfully it'll change when we're married."_

"_What?" Sam asked, her tone revealing that she knew where this was going and didn't like it._

"_Well, I assumed you were gonna take a backseat, once we're married." Shanahan replied._

_For a moment Sam was speechless. "Pete, I just got command of my own team! I'm needed at work!"_

"_I'm sure they can find someone else to command your –"_

"_Pete, I love my job! They don't have to find someone else! Anyway," Sam lowered her voice, "I'm the foremost expert on the Stargate, General O'Neill needs me at the SGC."_

"_O'Neill again! And when is that guy gonna give you a holiday?" Pete was yelling now._

"_Pete –"_

"_I'm sick of that guy knowing more about you and your life than I do! I'm your fiancé for god's sake!"_

"_Pete –"/_

The memory faded. Jack was shushing Sam, making soothing noises, still holding her tightly.

Jacob glared at Shanahan for daring to talk to his daughter that way.

Surprisingly, it was Daniel that actually said something to the man. "You obviously don't know Sam as well as you thought." He said, careful not to frighten the woman in question.

"Its okay, Carter. You're ok. You're safe." Jack was murmuring.

Behind him, the memory screen lit up again.

_/Sam walked into the infirmary. It was empty except for Jack, who was sitting on his bed, pulling his t-shirt on. His abdomen was bandaged._

"Sir, heard you were up and around."

Jack looked up "Yeah… Uh…still a little tender but they said I could go home."

"We're lucky that staff blast hit you where it did. That new vest insert works well." Sam said, obviously trying to keep the conversation positive.

Jack, however, didn't seem to be playing ball. "Didn't help Fraiser much."

Sam took a deep breath at the mention of her friend. "No."

After a moment's silence, Jack got up and reached for his BDU jacket. "How's Cassie?"

"She's a strong kid, she survives. You know."

"Yeah." Jack carefully pulled on his jacket. "You speaking at the memorial?"

Sam nodded. She took a deep breath "Sir…I…I just wanted to say…" She paused, obviously finding this difficult. "When you were lying there I…" Sam was now fighting back tears in earnest. "I'm really glad you're okay."

Sam was crying now and looked away.

Jack moved closer, slowly. Sam looked up at him.

"C'mere." He said softly.

Jack pulled Sam into his arms. She held onto him tightly, as if trying to reassure herself he was really there./

The image faded.

"Jack?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, Carter. It's me." Jack sounded infinitely relieved that she was coherent again, and didn't seem to notice her use of his first name.

Sam shook her head. "You're a Goa'uld. I can sense it."

Inwardly, Daniel swore. They should have remembered Sam's ability to sense the naquadah present in symbiotes.

Jack, however, didn't seem phased. "It's a Tok'ra. Damn spies are everywhere."

"You're lying." Sam sounded slightly desperate now. "I saw him die." This obviously conjured strong enough emotion to trigger the memory recall device, as the screen lit up again.

Daniel, Teal'c and Jacob didn't want to watch, but couldn't not. Shanahan, however, seemed to have no problem watching Sam's memories played out on-screen.

This time the memory was just a flash, long enough for the watchers to see what was going on.

/Jack, on this ship, getting hit by multiple staff blasts./

"No, Carter. They had a sarcophagus." Jack said, calmly. "This is me. Believe me."

It seemed a lot to ask of Sam's panicked mind. But she seemed to be considering it.

"I'm gonna let you go now, Carter." Jack said. Slowly he released her and stepped back slightly.

For a moment Sam didn't move. Then she turned and looked up at Jack.

"I thought I'd lost you." She said. Daniel felt sure she wouldn't have said that had she noticed the others in the cell. Again the screen flickered and displayed flashes of Sam's life.

_/Jack unconscious and freezing to death in Antarctica./_

_/Jack impaled on the gateroom wall./_

_/Jack after being implanted with a Goa'uld and then frozen, at Hathor's base./_

_/Jack going to the Tok'ra to be healed of the Ancient plague by Kanan./_

_/Jack stumbling back through the Stargate after escaping from Baal, his clothing full of bloody holes./_

_/Teal'c and Sam sitting in the SGC locker room, Teal'c asked "Have you given up hope of finding O'Neill?"_

"Hope?" She repeated. "No. I'm starting to think Dr Lee is right. I don't think the doorway is the answer. It's been almost a month Teal'c, if there were a way back… It's just, it feels like we just lost Daniel, and I don't know if I can…"

She began to cry and Teal'c pulled her into a hug./

_/Jack getting hit by a staff weapon blast and falling to the ground./_

_/Jack slumped in the Ancients' chair after defeating Anubis, Sam spoke: "Please, Jack."/_

"C'mere." Jack said. Sam stepped forwards and Jack gently pulled the memory device out. She winced and he put his arms around her. She clung to him.

"I thought I'd lost you." They heard her repeat, murmuring into his shoulder.

"Yeah well, rumours of my death, yadda yadda yadda." He repeated what he'd said to Jacob earlier.

Sam snorted her amusement.

"_There_ you are." Jack said, relief in every syllable.

Sam was shivering. Jack shrugged off his jacket and handed it to her. "Here." She took it and pulled it on, snuggling down into it.

"Now, you ready to play nice, or are you gonna assault Teal'c again?"

Sam nodded and Jack turned to allow her to see the rest of the cell.

"Hey kiddo." Jacob said. Sam went and hugged him. She smiled at Daniel and Teal'c.

"You guys okay?" She asked.

"We are fine, ColonelCarter." Teal'c said, warmly.

Sam finally turned to the cell's final occupant. "Pete? What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I called the base for you and they put me through to the General's office. He told me you were overdue, and I offered my help in finding you. He accepted." Shanahan said.

Sam looked at O'Neill suspiciously. "Sir?"

"That's basically what happened, Carter." Jack said. Sam looked like she wanted to say something else, but was interrupted by Jack. "Well, kids, we gotta go."

Jacob's head dipped down and came back up, the signal that Selmak wanted to talk. "O'Neill, I would like to talk with Nerron."

"Damn." Jack muttered, before he too dipped his head.

When he next spoke his voice took on the deep tone that indicated it was a symbiote speaking. "Selmak?" Nerron asked.

"Is there any possibility that we can take this ship?" Selmak asked.

Nerron smiled a slow, pleased smile. "I was thinking along those lines. I believe it is possible," he paused, and looked at SG-1, "as does O'Neill."

"How?" was all Selmak asked.

But Nerron was gone, and it was Jack who replied, "Follow my lead." Then he waved a hand to open the cell and moved outside the cell. Once outside he again switched to Nerron, who said: "Jaffa! Kree!"

Inside the cell Daniel remarked, "Now that's just weird." Teal'c and Sam nodded.

The two Jaffa entered the room. "My Lord?" one asked.

"Hand me your weapon." Nerron said.

The Jaffa handed over his staff weapon, and was promptly shot with it. Before the other could react he also went down under fire.

"Sorry T," Jack said in his own voice, "They didn't look the rebellion type." He opened the cell and SG-1 exited, followed by Jacob and Shanahan.

"Indeed." Teal'c replied, looking disdainfully at the bodies.

"Our weapons are just down the corridor," Jack said, giving Jacob the hand device.

Then he led the way out of the cells.

Taking over the ship was easier than they anticipated, with the help of Nerron. They split up into two teams, Sam, Pete and Teal'c, and Jack, Jacob and Daniel.

There relatively few Jaffa on board, most of them either having been killed or joined the rebellion. Evidently Baal did not think this outpost important enough to warrant the presence of his stolen Super Soldiers.

Once they had cleared the mothership of Jaffa, none of whom wished to join the rebellion, though the choice was offered, they met up in a corridor.

"Sir, we're all clear." Sam said.

"Same here, Carter." Jack paused, "You guys get the Goa'uld?" he asked.

"Actually, no. We couldn't find her, sir. We assumed you got her."

"Nope." Jack replied. "Okay, I want this done quickly. We'll split into teams of two. Jacob, you go with Teal'c, Carter you and Shanahan, Danny, you're with me."

As she turned away Sam smiled at the familiar commands.

"What?" Shanahan asked.

"Nothing. Just… feels like old times." Sam said.

"Why didn't you tell me your dad was a… what was it? A Gould?"

"He isn't. He's a Tok'ra."

"Oh. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't need to know." Sam said, her tone not betraying the annoyance she felt at his questioning.

""O'Neill knew." Pete sulked.

"Of course he knew, we have worked together for eight years. He was there when dad became a Tok'ra." Sam snapped.

"So what is it between you and O'Neill? Did you guys ever…" Pete broke off at Sam's glare.

"Ever what?" She asked, her voice icy.

"Y'know, have a _thing_?" Pete asked, avoiding her eyes.

"No, we did not. He's my commanding officer; it's against regulations." Sam said, her voice still sub-zero.

"Oh." Pete said, still unable to get the images on the memory screen out of his head. "So why was he the only one you'd listen to, back in the cell?" He asked.

"I've known General O'Neill for nearly nine years, Pete," Sam explained patiently, "I trust him with my life."

"You don't trust me?"

"What is going on with you?" Sam asked, exasperated.

They walked on in silence for a minute, then Shanahan asked, "Why does O'Neill call your father 'dad'?"

"I don't know, really. It's just something he's always done. I think it's mostly to annoy dad." Sam replied.

"'Mostly'?" Pete questioned.

Sam remained silent.

Jacob and Teal'c were walking down another corridor, checking recesses as they went.

Teal'c glanced at Jacob, who appeared to be distracted. "Are you well, JacobCarter?"

Without preamble Jacob asked, "What do you think of Shanahan, Teal'c?"

"Should you not have this discussion with ColonelCarter?" Teal'c asked.

"Teal'c was that _evasion_?" Jacob asked. Teal'c inclined his head. "Anyway, I'm having this _discussion_ with you." Jacob added.

"I do not believe he is a suitable companion for ColonelCarter to spend the remainder of her life with." Teal'c said.

"Well that was… honest." Jacob said. "Any reason for your apparent dislike of the man? Jack doesn't like him either, but won't talk about it."

Teal'c simply said, "PeteShanahan does not trust ColonelCarter."

Jacob nodded and the pair continued searching for the Goa'uld.

"You okay, Jack?" Daniel asked. They'd been walking in silence for some time, and he was worried about his friend.

"Huh? Yeah." Jack sounded distracted and irritated.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh… Nerron keeps nagging me about… something." Jack replied.

"You're arguing with Nerron?" Daniel asked, incredulous.

"Yeah, why?"

"Only you could argue with someone you're _blended _with."

"Actually it's a common occurrence." Jack said.

"Oh." The two men walked on in silence once more.

Then, "So why is he really here?" Daniel asked.

"I told you, he was undercover and they put him in my head…"

"Jack, that's not who I'm talking about and you know it." Daniel said.

Jack shrugged and tried again. "Jake just turned up at the –"

"Jack!" Daniel said, exasperated.

"_Fine_. He insisted. Said he'd expose the program if we lost Carter, all sorts of crap. And… I thought he could help Carter if she'd been… tortured, or somethin'." He paused then went on, "I mean, you had me and Teal'c, so it's only fair that Carter had her dad and her… fiancé."

Daniel looked up at his friend, but remained silent.

Suddenly, Jack stopped. "What?" He asked.

"Nothing."

"You wanna say something, I can tell." Jack narrowed his eyes at Daniel.

"I do not."

"You do."

"Do not.

"Do too."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Daniel!"

"It's just… you brought him along to help Sam, and it was you that ended up doing it." Daniel said.

When Jack said nothing, Daniel went on, "It just seems to me that –"

Jack cut him off, abruptly realising where this was going. "Don't even go there, Daniel." He began walking again, his long stride making it difficult for Daniel to keep pace.

Consequently, Jack rounded the corner before Daniel did. Daniel heard him cry out in pain,

"Jack!" He yelled, already running.

As he turned the corner he was hit square in the chest by a zat blast.

Sam heard Jack cry out and Daniel yell and began to run towards the sound, Shanahan close on her heels.   
She skidded around the corner, P-90 at the ready, only to almost trip over Daniel's prone form. 

The scene in front of her was horrible. Jack was on his knees in front of the Goa'uld that had captured them. The woman was using the same sort of hand device the Ashrak had used on Sam and Jolinar many years before. Jack was dying.

Sam took a split second to analyse the situation before opening fire on the Goa'uld. The woman went down under the hail of bullets and the hand device snapped off.

Jack fell to the ground.

Sam ran to his side just as Teal'c and Jacob entered the corridor. Teal'c moved to make sure Daniel was okay.

Sam looked down at Jack. "Sir?"


	3. I Want You!

Chapter Three

Some hours later Jacob, Daniel and Teal'c were sitting in a small anteroom just off the peltac, eating their MREs. After being in the cells for so long they were hungry enough that even Daniel didn't complain about the taste.

"How d'you think Jack's gonna cope with Nerron's death?" Daniel asked Jacob. "Sam was pretty depressed after Jolinar died to save her."

"I don't know. It's always hard for either a symbiote or a host when the other dies."

"I guess it's different for everyone." Daniel said with his mouth full.

"I am worried about O'Neill." Teal'c said.

Daniel nodded "Me too, all Jack will say is that he's got a headache and that he wants to be left alone."

Jacob grinned "Nice paraphrasing." Daniel grinned back and Teal'c nodded. They'd all heard what Jack had really said – _yelled_ – at Daniel: "For cryin' out loud Daniel! Will you just fuck off!"

"Where's Sam?" Daniel asked.

"She went to show Shanahan to some quarters. He said he was tired."

"You call your future son-in-law by his surname?" Daniel asked, raising his eyebrows.

Jacob was about to answer when the sound of raised voices stopped him. Jack and Sam. They were heading for the peltac.

"We should vacate this place immediately." Teal'c said, obviously not wanting to eavesdrop on his friends' argument.

Jacob and Daniel, however, did not stir. When he noticed this Teal'c sat down again.

"Sir, will you just stop and listen to me please! You need to talk about this!" Sam sounded exasperated.

Looking through the anteroom door the three men watched Jack stalk onto the peltac, Sam hurrying after him.

"Sir, will you just _stop_!" She yelled, stopping and planting her hands on her hips.

"Carter I'm not gonna talk about anything. I don't _need_ to talk about anything."

"Oh, so we almost lose you – _again_ – you get a symbiote – _again – _he dies to save your life and you have _nothing _to talk about?" Sam's words came out in a rush.

"Well you know me, Carter." Jack quipped, not completely masking his anger.

"Sir!" She yelled, warningly.

Jack's temper finally flared. "What the hell do you want from me, Carter?"

"I want _you_!" She yelled, before she could stop herself.

There was no doubt in Daniel's mind that she hadn't meant it sexually. Well, not _just _sexually anyway. '_Maybe a little, but that's neither here nor there…'_

He sneaked a look at Jacob to make sure he knew that too.

Jacob merely nodded. He'd understood.

Jack, meanwhile, had spun on his heel and rapidly closed the gap between himself and Sam.

'_Finally, he's gonna kiss her'. _Daniel thought.

He didn't. Instead he ran a finger around the inside of her collar, hooking out her dogtags. Something sparkled on the chain.

"What's that?" Jacob whispered.

"It is her engagement ring." Teal'c answered.

"Oh _crap_." Daniel whispered.

"Funny. This doesn't tell me that." Jack said, his voice low and even. He dropped her tags and turned away from her again, staring out at hyperspace.

This brought Sam out of the shock she'd gone into at what she'd just said. "At least he asked." She said in a quiet voice that carried, nonetheless.

Jack whirled. When he spoke his voice was steeped in anger. "_He asked_? What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"How the hell was I supposed to know how you felt, _Jack_?" She replied, emphasising his name. "I couldn't give him an answer for two weeks and even then I talked to you first. You practically _ordered _me to say yes."

"What was I supposed to say, Carter? Don't marry him, how about me and you catch a movie, dinner and then a court martial?"

"Oh please! This from the man whose file, whose _career_, practically screams 'Screw the regs!'"

"Not over this!"

Silence reigned on the peltac, with both Jack and Sam staring at each other. Daniel, Jacob and Teal'c sat motionless, riveted by what they had seen and heard.

The air between Sam and Jack seemed to burn.

Finally, Sam broke the silence. "Why not?" She asked, the anger that had been in her tone before replaced by gentleness.

"You were the one that wanted to leave it in the goddamn room, Carter." Jack said.

"I didn't hear you disagreeing, _sir_." She replied, spitting the formal address.

"Who am I to disagree with the great Sam Carter?"

Sam looked as though she was going to retort, but Jack cut her off. Scrubbing his hands over his face and through his hair, he said, "Who cares? Doesn't matter now." His tone had changed too. He was quieter. "Look, Carter, I'm trying to deal with all the crap left over from Nerron. Forgive me if I'm not exactly talkative right now." Suddenly he seemed to reach a decision. He strode past Sam, heading for the corridor, and freedom.

"Jack…" Sam began.

He stopped in the doorway but didn't turn to face her.

"No, _Colonel_. You don't call me Jack and I don't call you Sam." He sounded tired.

"Why not?" Sam sounded like a petulant child, but didn't seem to care.

"Because I'm your CO." Jack paused. "And because maybe, that way, I get to stay sane when I sign you off on leave for your wedding." He left then, not giving her a chance to reply.

Sam looked after him for a moment, then turned to face the hyperspace window.

After a while she spoke. "You guys can come out now. I know you're there."

Daniel, Jacob and Teal'c stepped onto the peltac. Jacob and Daniel looked sheepish. Teal'c merely walked over to Sam and said, "Are you all right, ColonelCarter?"

Sam snorted her amusement. "No."

Teal'c merely nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Uh... Sam?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah?"

"How long did you – "

"From when I heard you say 'Oh crap.'."

"Oh boy." Daniel said. "Sorry." He added.

"It's okay. Doesn't matter." Sam said. Then she turned to Teal'c and said, "I'm really sorry about your face, Teal'c."

The huge Jaffa simply smiled and inclined his head. "It is fine ColonelCarter; you were not of your right mind."

"Thanks." Sam replied.

Meanwhile, a new and horrible thought occurred to Daniel. He looked at Jacob and from the look on the older man's face, saw that he'd had the same thought.

"Uh… Sam?" He said again.

"What Daniel?" Sam had still not turned to face the room.

"Did Jack know we were here?" Daniel asked, already afraid of the answer.

Sam did turn now. There was the slightest trace of a smile on her face. "Probably before I did." She replied.

"Oh boy." Daniel said again.

Jacob stepped forward and hugged Sam, whose amusement had faded.

"You okay, Sammie?" He asked.

"I don't know what to do." Sam admitted.

"What do you mean?" Jacob asked.

"I know you were listening, dad. You know exactly what I mean." Sam was fiddling with the engagement ring hanging from her dogtags.

They stood in silence for a while. Suddenly, Sam spoke. "I can't do this anymore." She turned and left the peltac. Leaving Jacob and Daniel looking at one another, perplexed.

"What can't she do?" Daniel asked.

Unexpectedly, Teal'c answered him. "I believe she has gone to tell PeteShanahan that she can no longer marry him."

"You think so?" Jacob asked.

"Indeed."

Sam entered the quarters she had put Pete in. He was lying on the bed, awake.

He smiled as he saw her enter.

"You finally decided to get some sleep, huh? Thought you were gonna be trying to talk to O'Neill forever. Not really in touch with his feminine side, is he?"

"Pete, we need to talk." Sam said, taking a seat on the bunk opposite him.

"Don't." Pete replied.

"What?"

"You're trying to break up with me, I can tell. Sam, I didn't mean to interfere with your work, I was just worried. You were late home and I-"

Sam cut him off. "It's not that. I just can't do this anymore."

"What? Why?" Shanahan was getting angry.

When Sam didn't reply immediately he shouted, "I deserve to know, goddamit! It's him, isn't it? O'Neill."

"That's not the point. The point is... I can't marry you. I'm really sorry. I thought I could but…"

Suddenly, Pete changed gears. His next words were gentle. "Look, Sam, we can wait a while. If you're not ready…"

"No."

"_No_" He repeated.

"Pete, I don't think I can ever marry you. This whole thing… it's made me realise that." Sam put her engagement ring, no longer attached to her dogtags, on the bunk beside her. She got up and moved towards the exit. She turned and said. "I'll move my stuff out when we get back." She turned towards the door again. "I'm sorry." She said, and left, before he could get mad and yell at her.

She walked quickly back to the peltac, hoping Pete wouldn't follow her until she was safe among her friends.

When she reached the peltac she found it occupied only by Jacob, Daniel and Teal'c. '_Damn_,' she thought. She had expected O'Neill to come back here once she left.

"Hey Sam, you okay?" Daniel asked.

"I am now." She replied. "Where's J… General O'Neill?" She said, still hesitant about using his first name.

"He never came back." Jacob replied, studying his daughter's face.

"I'll go look for him." Sam said.

"Sam, give it a while." Daniel said, putting a hand on her arm. "You know what Jack's like in this mood."

Sam nodded, and turned to her friends. "So, did you guys eat all the MREs, or can I eat now?"

Daniel and Sam were sitting with Jacob on the peltac. They had been there for three hours and all conversation was exhausted. They had given up on waiting for Jack and had sent Teal'c to see if he was any better.

Suddenly Teal'c's voice came through the radio. "ColonelCarter!" He sounded alarmed.

"Teal'c?" She responded.

"I have found O'Neill. He is in the Jaffa sleeping quarters. You must all come at once!"

Sam scrambled to her feet and ran for the door, followed by Daniel and Jacob.

When they reached the room O'Neill had chosen to sleep in they were slightly out of breath from their impromptu sprint. Teal'c was waiting for them, and preceded them inside.

Jack was slumped on the floor beside the bunk. He was unconscious. Beside him lay the discarded vial that had carried the memory suppressant.

"He is alive." Teal'c stated, seeing the concern on his friends' faces.

"He must have pick pocketed me!" Jacob said indignantly. "No one is supposed to take that much!"

"Take what?" Sam asked, crouching behind O'Neill and checking his pulse, even knowing Teal'c already had.

"It's a memory suppressant drug. I told Jack about it in the gateroom before we left earth. He must have taken all of it."

"Why would O'Neill do such a thing?" Teal'c asked.

"Jack… wanted to forget." Daniel responded. "He had all his memories, plus Nerron's. It was too much. God, Jack." Daniel was shocked, and his voice carried sympathy for his friend.

"Why is he unconscious?" Sam asked, looking at her dad.

"Overdose." Jacob said. Then quickly added, "But he won't die. He'll be unconscious for a while. But he won't die."

"Is there any way to get his memory back?" Daniel asked.

"I'm not sure." Jacob replied. "I think so. We need to get him back to Earth."


	4. JJ O'Neill

Chapter Four

They had been back at the SGC for under an hour. SG-1 were sitting in the briefing room, anxiously awaiting the appearance of General Hammond, who had been sleeping on-base.

Jack had been sent to the infirmary on arrival, and was installed in a private room.

Daniel was pacing the length of the table and back again, his worry for his friend shown in every aspect of his face.

Teal'c was staring out of the huge window, looking at the Stargate, but not seeing it.

Sam was sitting at the table, staring at her clasped hands. She had said nothing since they got back, and appeared to be deep in thought.

Jacob was sitting opposite his daughter, watching her closely.

Pete Shanahan, deciding he was neither wanted nor needed here, had gone home, after he swore he wouldn't say anything about the Stargate program. Sam had told him what could happen to him if he did.

General Hammond entered the room. Sam, being the only subordinate officer present, rose.

"At ease." Hammond said.

As the General sat at the head of the table, Teal'c and Daniel also took their seats.

"So what happened?" General Hammond asked.

Sam decided that she should be the one to debrief the general. "Sir, Daniel, Teal'c and I were captured by –"

"I know that, Colonel." Hammond interrupted. "What happened to General O'Neill?"

"Sir?" Sam asked, taken aback.

"Before he left, General O'Neill saw fit to call me and appraise me of your situation. I expressly forbade him to go, so of course he left immediately." Hammond said, smiling slightly.

He turned to Jacob. "What happened to Jack?" He asked his old friend.

It was some time later. General Hammond had been fully debriefed.

"So how do we get him back?" Hammond questioned.

Jacob placed a small object on the table.

"What's that?" Hammond asked.

"It's a modified Tok'ra memory recall device."

"Modified?" Sam asked.

"It can recall memories that have been suppressed. Selmak and I believe it will help Jack."

"It won't hurt him, will it?" Daniel asked.

"It shouldn't hurt him. Besides, he's still unconscious and non-responsive." Jacob said. "There is a chance he will feel the emotions the memories trigger, but it's our only shot, and it's a long one."

Sam shifted in her chair. "What if he doesn't want his memory back?" She asked.

"Why wouldn't he?" Jacob asked.

"Sam's got a point. Jack suppressed his own memory, he obviously wants to forget." Daniel interjected.

"I do not believe O'Neill would wish to forget his entire life DanielJackson." Teal'c said.

"What other explanation is there?" Hammond asked.

"I am unsure." Teal'c said.

Hammond thought for a moment, then reached a decision. "Well we need him back. Okay people. Let's do this." Hammond stood and walked into Jack's office. Daniel and Teal'c went to Jack's infirmary room to stand vigil over their friend.

Jacob turned to Sam and said, "Sam, we should work on a way to monitor Jack's memories."

"I'll meet you in my lab, dad. I want to ask General Hammond something."

"Okay kiddo." Jacob said, and exited the briefing room.

General Hammond looked entirely at home in the office that was his not so long ago.

Sam knocked and walked in at the familiar command, "Come."

"Colonel Carter." Hammond greeted.

"General, I just wanted to ask you something, if I may."

"Have a seat, colonel."

Sam took the proffered chair.

"You want to know if General O'Neill is going to get into trouble over this." Hammond stated.

"He was only doing what he could to save us sir. I know he went against your order but-"

Hammond cut her off with a hand gesture. "Colonel, don't worry. I've known Jack eight years. I knew what he would do."

Sam was taken aback. "You did?" She said, adding "sir," as an afterthought.

"Why do you think I gave him twenty-four hours?" The General chuckled, "I could have been down here much sooner."

Sam just sat there for a moment, taking in what the General had said.

"Anything else, Colonel?" Hammond asked.

"Huh? Uh… no, sir."

"Then I suggest you get to work. We need him back." Hammond said, smiling.

"Yessir," Sam said, and exited the room, heading for her lab.

General Hammond watched her go, gently shaking his head.

Sam worked with Selmak on a way to display and monitor O'Neill's memory. Sam still felt uneasy, if O'Neill hadn't meant to suppress his memory, what _had _happened?

Finally the equipment was ready and O'Neill was moved to an observation room. Sergeant Siler helped set up the monitoring equipment in the room above, so that Jacob could watch both Jack and the screen.

Daniel, Teal'c and Hammond had already taken their seats. Jacob was in the room below, waiting to turn on the memory recall device. When Jacob announced that they were ready to proceed Sam got up and made to follow Siler out of the room

"Colonel Carter?" Hammond queried.

"I don't think General O'Neill would want us to watch his life as if it were a TV show, sir."

"Maybe not, but I do think he'll want his friends to be here when he wakes up. He'll want to know you're all okay." Hammond said.

Sam nodded and resumed her seat. Daniel leant over to her and said "Besides, how else are we ever gonna find anything out about him?" She smiled weakly in response.

Jacob was standing by Jack's bedside, inserting the memory recall device.

"This technology creates a third person viewpoint, so we'll be able to see Jack. It makes it easier to monitor what's going on." He informed them.

He left Jack's room and arrived in the room above a minute later.

"Are we going to have to watch his whole life?" Sam asked as he took his seat.

"That would take too long. Humans don't remember every little thing that happened to them. It'll be like his life is on fast forward a lot of the time. Occasionally we'll see something in great detail, but only if it's something important that Jack usually remembers. Everyone ready?"

Several images flickered across the screen. As predicted they moved very fast. After several minutes they stopped.

_/The image on the screen was of two boys standing in what was obviously their bedroom. It was night-time and the scene was illuminated by a bedside lamp._

_The boys looked to be about nine and eleven years old. They were looking up at an older boy of about fifteen. He was climbing out the window._

_The nine year old spoke. "Where're you going, Patrick?" The small boy was skinny, with deep brown eyes and brown hair that stuck up at all angles. It was Jack._

"_I'm leaving. I can't stay here anymore. You guys understand that, don't you?" The older brother asked, pleading with his eyes. _

"_No." The nine year old answered._

"_Jack!" The eleven year old said, chastising his younger brother. _

_Jack ignored him. "I get **why** you're going," he said, Patrick looked relieved. "I just don't get why you're leaving us behind." Nine year old said, lisping slightly._

"_He can't take all of us, JJ. Where would we all go, how would he support us, him **and** the girls?"_

"_So he's just gonna run away and leave us here? With the Colonel?" Jack asked._

_Patrick looked hurt. "You don't know what the Colonel's like, Jack." He said quietly._

"_Sure I do. Dad's an asshole." Jack replied, earning himself a gentle slap on the arm from his brother._

"_He's way worse than that, kid." Patrick said. "When you and Joe are older you'll understand better."_

"_We understand **now**." Jack said, Joe nodding beside him._

"_Then you see why I have to go. I can't take anymore." Patrick said._

"_But you're leaving us behind." Jack said, sounding much older than his looks would suggest._

"_I have no choice. Please understand." Patrick begged._

_Jack said nothing. Both his older brothers watched him carefully. Finally he nodded. "Good luck." _

"_Thanks. Well, gotta go." Patrick disappeared out the window. _

_Joe and Jack stood looking at the window. After a moment Jack spoke. "Colonel's gonna be pissed."_

_His brother glared at him but before he could say anything another voice spoke. "Joe? JJ?" It was a little girl's voice. Both boys turned._

_Standing in the open doorway to their bedroom were identical twin girls, about eight years old. One was sucking her thumb._

"_Caitlin and me heard noises. Where's Patrick?" One girl asked._

"_He's… gone Susie." Joe said._

_Both little girls looked at their other brother for confirmation, he nodded./_

The scene began to fade. Then the screen began flashing memories at its previous rate.

"O-kay." Daniel said. His sentiment was shared by the entire group, Jack had never mentioned, or even hinted at, siblings.

"Did you see the way they all looked to him, even though he was the middle child?" Sam asked.

Something else was bothering Daniel, "_JJ_?" He asked, sniggering.

The images slowed again.

_/The scene showed the same bedroom, but slightly different. Joe was sitting at a writing desk. Jack was laying stretched out on a bed, idly playing with a yo-yo. _

_Jack was older this time, about fifteen, looking exactly the same as his clone had._

_Suddenly his older brother slammed the book he was reading closed. "Dammit Jack, will you quit it with that thing already?" _

_Jack grinned and twirled the yo-yo again._

"_I'll break it, I swear to god!" His brother sounded exasperated._

"_Fine, fine." Jack put the toy down. Silence reigned in the bedroom, until: "What ya doin'?"_

"_Jack!"_

"_Tell me and I'll quit bugging you." Jack said, moving over to look over his brother's shoulder._

"_You'll quit anyway. You've got an appointment with the General, something about a report card no one can believe?"_

_Jack merely shrugged. "What ya doin'?" He asked again._

_His brother groaned before taking a deep breath and replying. "Math."_

"_Show me."_

_Joe handed his homework sheet to his younger brother who looked over it briefly before picking up a pencil from the desk. "This, this and this." He said, writing on the paper._

"_What?"_

"_They're wrong. You don't do these types of questions like that."_

"_Guess I know where you got those A's then. So how do you do them, geek boy?"_

_Jack pulled a face at his brother, and was just about to answer when a man's voice yelled, "Jonathan!"_

"_Aw crap." Jack said._

"_General's home." His brother said, looking sympathetic. _

"_Gotta go." Jack said, turning towards the door._

"_You gonna be okay?" _

_Jack snorted at that and exited the room._

_Once he was downstairs he approached a door and knocked._

"_Come!" A man's voice yelled, angrily._

_Jack entered what looked like a study. Inside were a man and woman who were obviously his parents. His mother sat on a large couch over on Jack's left. She was a slim woman who looked extremely nervous. She smiled weakly at Jack._

_Jack's father had obviously just gotten home. He was still his uniform, that of a Marine Brigadier General. He was sitting behind a large desk, glaring at Jack./_

Daniel looked shocked, "Jack's dad was a _Marine_?"

"Shh." Sam chastised.

_/"You wanted to see me?" Jack asked._

_His mother replied, "Sit down, JJ."_

"_I will deal with this, Laurie. And don't call him that. His name is Jonathan." Jack's father spoke with a clipped tone, obviously trying to control his temper, and failing._

_Laurie looked stricken._

_Jack's father stood and moved around the desk. He was an even six foot, and towered over Jack, who obviously had a bit of growing to do before he reached his full height. He held a piece of paper out to Jack. "What's this, boy?"_

_Jack glanced at it. "It's my report card, sir."_

"_And would you care to explain how you managed to get these grades, when your teachers swear they only see you once or twice a month?" Jack's father was getting nastier, his tone sneering._

"_I always do my assignments and I always take exams." Jack said, then added, "Sir." _

"_Don't speak to me like that boy! How can you get A and B grades when you aren't in class? You can't pass exams without going to the classes!" Jack's father was yelling at him now._

"_**You** explain it then." Jack replied, looking his father straight in the eyes._

_There was the hiss of a sharp intake of breath from his mother. His father merely glared at him all the harder. But there was something else in his eyes: triumph._

"_You've been cheating!"_

_Jack finally lost his temper. "I was not cheating! How dare you accuse me of that!" He yelled._

"_Jonathan!" His mother reprimanded._

_Jack's father ignored her and continued. "Yes you have, you little bastard!"_

"_John, I really don't think…" Jack's mother began._

_Jack's father turned to face her for a moment. "No you don't! So stay the hell out of this!" _

"_Don't talk to her like that, asshole!" Jack shouted._

_Jack's father backhanded him across the face. Hard. "Go. To. Your. Room!" He yelled._

_Jack glanced at his mother, who nodded almost imperceptibly. He turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him./_

The images on the screen started to fly past again.

"Whoa." Jacob said.

"Yeah. Nice guy." Daniel said.

The images seemed to be of Jack at the Air Force Academy. They saw him flying a variety of airplanes, then the images slowed again.

_/Jack jumped out of the small fighter plane he'd been flying. As he walked across the airfield a jeep drove towards him at high speed. Jack stopped as it reached him._

_The jeep stopped and a man jumped out. _

_It was Jacob Carter. **Colonel**__Jacob Carter._

"_**You**!" He yelled, pointing angrily at Jack./_

"I don't even remember this." Jacob remarked.

_/"Did you just fly that?" Jacob yelled. _

_Jack looked around at the plane. "Yes, sir."_

"_No one was cleared to fly! You are in so much trouble right now, kid!"_

"_Yessir." Jack said, looking at his watch. "Can it be later, sir, I really have to get to class." _

_Jacob's eyes narrowed at the lanky young man. "Fine. What's your name, kid?"_

"_Cadet O'Neill, sir." Jack said. _

_Jacob waved him on. "Get to class. You'll be reprimanded for this."_

_Jack nodded, saluted Jacob and walked past him. When he had gone a little way, Jacob called after him, "O'Neill!"_

_Jack turned. "Yessir?"_

"_Nice flying, kid."_

_Jack grinned. "Thank you, sir." _

_Jacob turned and began to climb into the jeep again. _

"_And, sir?" Jack called._

_Jacob looked at him._

"_That's O'Neil, sir, one L."_

_Jacob nodded and his driver took him back to the base./_

"When he wakes up, remind me to kill him." Jacob said, amused. "I had Cadet O'Neil, one L, reprimanded for that, poor kid."

Hammond snorted his amusement.

_/Jack was standing in the hallway of his parents' house, wearing Air Force blues. He was talking to his brother, Joe. _

"_So you gonna marry her then?" Jack asked. _

_His brother seemed shy. "I haven't asked yet. Hopefully. Too bad you can't be here."_

"_Yeah." Jack began to say something else when the front door burst open and about five teenage girls tumbled in, giggling. _

_Jack turned to face the new arrivals._

"_Jack!" One of his sisters exclaimed._

"_What're you doing home?" The other one asked rushing to hug him, closely followed by her twin. _

"_Ow! Cait, Susie, not so tight, need to breathe!" Jack gasped._

_The girls that had come in with Cait and Susie were still standing in the doorway, suddenly shy._

_Susie turned around to them "Girls, this is our other brother, Jack." She said, by way of introduction. _

_There was a chorus of "Hi Jack"'s then the girls, as one, looked at their feet. Jack merely grinned at them. _

"_So, why're you home?" Cait asked._

"_I came to say goodbye for a while." Jack replied. "Air Force is sending me someplace else."_

_Both girls looked disappointed. _

"_I'll come home soon." Jack reassured._

"_He hopes." Came a voice from the top of the stairs. _

"_Hi mom." Jack said to the woman now descending the stairs towards them._

"_JJ." His mother replied, opening her arms for a hug. Jack stooped to put his arms around her._

"_Don't call me that, **please**." Jack said, making his mother laugh._

"_You'd prefer Jonathan, Mr. Air Force?"_

"_Jack."_

"_Okay. Jack." She said, smoothing down the front of his jacket_

_Jack glanced at his watch._

"_You have to go already?" Joe asked._

"_Yeah, got a flight to catch. Told you I wouldn't be here long. Sorry guys."_

_There was the sound of a car pulling up outside. _

"_That'll be your father." Jack's mother said quietly._

"_Crap." Jack said. _

_Joe slapped him gently on the arm. "Language." He said, in response to the look Jack sent him._

"_Uh… we're just gonna…" The girls disappeared upstairs with their friends._

"_Yeah, well gotta go." Joe said scurrying off down the hall._

"_Nice." Jack said. _

_John O'Neill came through the front door. Before anyone could say anything he said "What the hell is **he **doing here?"_

"_I just came to say goodbye." Jack said levelly._

"_Air Force. That where you've been?" John O'Neill said, eyeing up his son's uniform._

"_Yessir." Jack replied._

_His father snorted, he was obviously drunk._

"_Never thought a son of mine'd be a goddamned flyboy."_

_Jack said nothing._

_John peered at Jack's uniform._

"_Lieutenant? How'd you get to be a Lieutenant so quick?"_

_Jack didn't answer._

"_Where're you going then?" His father seemed determined to get something on him._

"_I can't say." Jack said. "It's classified."_

"_Ooh, Special Ops, huh? Thought you had to be a bit more experienced for that stuff."_

_Still Jack said nothing._

"_Hate Special Ops. 'Specially Air Force Special Ops. Damned secretive bastards. You're no son of mine -" _

_Jack interrupted his father's tirade, "Fine by me."_

"_Don't interrupt me, boy!" His father shouted._

"_I don't have to take this shit." Jack moved to push past the older man, who grabbed him and shoved him back into the hallway._

"_You ain't goin' nowhere, flyboy!"_

_Jack growled and moved quickly. Suddenly John O'Neill was pressed up against his front door, his son's hand on his throat._

"_I'm going. And you're gonna let me." _

_John glanced over his son's shoulder at his wife. Jack noticed. "Don't even **think** about blaming this on them, 'cos I'll find out and I'll come **back**."_

_Jack's father looked truly horrified at this prospect._

_It was quite surreal seeing the large man pinned to the door by Jack, who, at a couple of inches over six foot, was taller, but was still what could only be described as lanky./_

Once more the images began to speed.

The group gathered around the screen could find nothing to say. Even General Hammond hadn't known anything about Jack's family. It had been assumed that his childhood was, well, normal, and happy.

They saw Jack's first few missions. When the images began to slow they saw him hit someone while on a mission. The man was knocked unconscious. Then the images once again began to play in real time.

_/Jack wandered into a bar. He scanned the room, looking for his friends. Spotting them, he wandered over to their booth._

_Sitting in the booth was Charlie Kawalsky and a few other Air Force officers. Sitting in the corner of the booth, surrounded by the guys, was Janet Fraiser./_

"I didn't know Jack knew Janet before." Daniel said.

"It was a long time ago." General Hammond replied.

_/"Hey." Jack said in greeting._

_Suddenly all five people snapped off a salute._

"_Sir!" They said in unison, barely controlling their grins._

"_Knock it off!" Jack growled, sliding into the booth._

"_Aw c'mon Jack, you get promoted for assaulting a superior officer, and we can't find it funny?" Kawalsky said, grinning. He added, "Sir."_

_Jack grinned suddenly. "Did good, didn't I?" He asked._

"_Yessir, Captain O'Neill, sir!" Janet said._

_Jack glared at her briefly, only half-seriously, before saying: "Hey Doc. How's med school?" _

"_It's hard." Janet said, pouting._

"_What did you expect?" Jack laughed. "Don't worry, Doc, you'll be in charge of the big needles in no time."_

"_Yeah…" Janet still sounded unconvinced. Then she brightened up. "I'm engaged!" She said, proudly waving her left hand in the air._

"_Cool!" Jack said. "Lemme see." He added grabbing Janet's left hand and inspecting her ring._/

As the scene was replaced once more by speeding images, the people in the room all found themselves feeling sad at seeing Janet again.

"Assaulting a superior officer?" Jacob asked, looking at Hammond.

"Jack was on a mission that went wrong. His CO panicked, and started making orders that endangered the team. Jack tried to get him to listen to reason, but the officer concerned wouldn't. _Lieutenant_ O'Neill knocked him out and commanded the rest of the mission. The officer concerned tried to bring charges, but the rest of the team stood up for Jack."

"He has a way of… inspiring people." Daniel said.

"Indeed." Teal'c said.

_/The next image was horrible. Jack was strapped down to a bed in a dirty looking cell. Someone was looming over him pushing a needle into his arm. _

"_Wha's that?" Jack asked, obviously pretty out of it._

"_Heroin." The man's speech was thickly accented._

_The man waited for the drug to take effect then left the room./_

_/It was some time later. The man was back. He waved the needle in front of Jack's face. "You want this don't you, American scum?"_

_Jack remained silent._

"_I know you are addicted. You will be begging me for this soon enough. What was your mission here?"_

"_Major Jack O'Neill. USAF" Jack replied, his voice hoarse. His eyes had not left the needle._

"_I asked you your mission!"_

"_Major Jack O'Neill, USAF." Jack said weakly, closing his eyes._

"_For two months this is all you tell me. You **will **say something else." The man whirled and left the room./_

The scenes began to whirl once more.

"Heroin?" Sam said, disbelievingly.

"The drugged out strapped to the bed thing." Daniel said, remembering something Jack had said years ago.

Below them Jack was squirming slightly.

Jacob got up and left the room, appearing in Jack's room a moment later. He switched off the memory recall device.

"Let's take a break guys. I think we all need it and so does Jack." He said.

"Two hours people." Hammond said.

Two hours later General Hammond, Teal'c and Daniel walked into the observation room to find Sam already there.

"Did you even _try_ to get some rest?" Daniel asked, in a convincing imitation of Jack.

"Yes." Sam said.

Jacob joined them and switched on the screen. "Time to go again." He said. The others took their seats as the images flickered again.

_/Jack was walking up to a house. It was the middle of the night. He knocked on the door. As he waited, he lit a cigarette; the first time those watching had seen him do so. A few moments later it was opened by Charlie Kawalsky, wearing what appeared to be a bathrobe._

"_Jack, what the hell are you doing here? Doc said you couldn't be discharged for a coupla weeks yet." Kawalsky narrowed his eyes at his friend. "You don't have permission to be here, do you?"_

"_Not exactly." Jack replied. "Charlie, I need my bike."_

"_Where're you going?"_

"_Please Charlie."_

"_You're going AWOL aren't you?"_

_Jack said nothing. Kawalsky sighed and reached out to his key hooks. He unhooked Jack's motorbike keys and handed them to him. "It's in the garage." He joined Jack in his front yard and opened the garage for him. Jack wheeled his bike out, climbed on and started it._

"_Thanks." He said. He flicked the cigarette butt towards the street._

"_You're just replacing one addiction with another y'know." Kawalsky said, nodding towards the cigarette butt._

_Jack glared. "You sound like Doc."_

"_I'm just sayin'."_

"_I know." Jack replied in a softer tone._

"_You know, you look like shit. You should go back to the hospital." Kawalsky said seriously._

"_Nah. I won't be gone long." Jack replied._

"_Where're you going?" Kawalsky pressed._

"_Can't tell you."_

"_I won't tell anyone."_

"_Yeah, but if they find out you knew…"_

"_Okay, okay. Plausible deniability, I know. They're gonna court martial you when you get back, y'know."_

"_No. They won't." Jack replied._

"_Why not?"_

_Jack's face hardened. "Best of the best. Apparently they **need** me." He said bitterly._

_Kawalsky looked at his friend sympathetically. "See you around, Jack."_

_For the first time, Jack smiled, weakly. "Yeah, sure. You betcha." And rode off./_

"How the hell that guy has never been court martialled I'll never know." Jacob said.

"He said it." Hammond replied. "_Best of the best_. He was too. Still is." He went on sparing a guilty glance at SG-1. They didn't care though. They believed it as much as Hammond did.

Finally, Daniel spoke, breaking the silent watching of flickering images. "So what, whenever Jack breaks the rules, it gets covered up?"

Sam's ears pricked up at this.

"Yes and no, son." Hammond said. "We try, but he's such a goddamned stubborn bastard, he won't accept 'no punishment' as an answer. He's got at least a dozen reprimands in his record. And, of course, it depends on the rule, and the reason he broke it."

Jacob snorted. "More like two dozen."

The images slowed once more.

_/Jack was sitting by a lake outside a log cabin. Behind him were two elderly people. The man looked a little like Jack. They were his grandparents._

_His grandmother was speaking in a voice she -wrongly - thought Jack couldn't hear._

"_He looks awful. So thin, so tired looking. I want a word with that boy's mother."_

_The man smiled at her gently. "He can't go home. Our daughter's husband has forbidden it."_

"_He's an asshole." The woman replied._

_Unseen, Jack smirked at this._

"_You know he's AWOL, don't you?" The man asked his wife._

"_I don't care. If he is it's for good reason. My JJ would never do anything wrong." There was firm conviction in her voice._

"_Hah!" her husband snorted._

"_Well… not morally wrong, in any case." The woman conceded, smiling fondly at Jack's back._

"_Yeah. Just don't let him catch you still calling him JJ, that's all."_

"_Why is he here, did he say?"_

"_He said he 'needed to get away'. Whatever that means. Something bad happened to him. He's not the same kid we knew."_

"_And he needs a haircut." Jack's grandmother snorted, eyeing Jack's sticky-up hair._

_Her husband laughed at that. "He **always** needs a haircut!"/_

The images flickered again. And sped on. They went for quite some time before slowing.

_/Jack was chained up in a dirty cell. /_

"Iraq." General Hammond said.

_/There was a loud scream. A young woman, a teenager really, was dragged into the cell opposite Jack's by a huge man with a scar that ran over one eye._

_The man yelled at the woman in his own language before ripping her clothes from her body._

_Jack looked away, closing his eyes._

_He couldn't shut out the sounds of the rape. The woman's screams, the huge man's heavy breathing and laughter. _

_Jack looked as though he wanted to throw up. Suddenly the noises stopped._

_Jack turned, slowly. The woman lay dead on the ground beneath the man who turned and grinned at Jack. The woman's throat had been cut. The man made no move to cover her body; he just left her laying there in the filth of the cell._

_Jack turned away and threw up./_

Daniel and Sam both looked as though they wanted to be sick too. Teal'c felt angry, even though he'd seen much worse as Apophis' First Prime.

Jacob and General Hammond were also both angry and sickened.

Daniel said, "That man wasn't Iraqi." Trying desperately to distract himself.

"No. He was a mercenary." Hammond answered, his voice flat.

The next time the images slowed it looked as though Jack was escaping from the prison.

_/Jack was running blindly through dank and dirty corridors, stumbling occasionally._

_A knife flashed in his hand. Jack looked a mess. Dirty and unshaved. His clothes were torn and hung from him where he'd lost weight._

_He turned a corner and was brought up short by the sight of the huge man dragging another young woman through the corridors._

_Jack lost it. He grabbed the larger man and freed the young woman, pushing her roughly aside. _

_The man yelled and threw Jack against the wall of the corridor. Then he put his hands around Jack's throat._

_Jack brought the knife up into the man's groin, castrating him. The mercenary's blood poured over Jack's hands._

_Jack growled something in the man's own language as he pushed him to the floor. Then he ran on./_

The images sped on.

The occupants of the room looked to Daniel. "What did he say?" Sam asked.

"_May Shaitan eat your soul._" Daniel translated.

"Oh."

"Hey, I didn't know Jack spoke another language, or can he just curse in one?" Daniel turned to General Hammond.

"Jack was Special Ops, son. He speaks four or five languages."

"Four or five…" Daniel repeated. "He never said." He finished indignantly.

"Daniel, you speak what, twenty three languages? Why would he say anything?" Sam asked.

"Definitely smarter than he acts." Daniel said.

"Did you ever doubt that, DanielJackson?" Teal'c asked, raising an eyebrow.

The images slowed once more.

_/Jack was answering the door to his house. He looked older. Twenty-nine, thrity-ish. _

"_What?" he growled at the knocker. It was Janet Fraiser, soaked through. "Jeez Doc!" Jack exclaimed, yanking her inside, out of the rain._

"_What the hell are you doing, trying to break my door down? My wife and kid are sleeping." He hissed._

"_I need your help." Janet said. It all came out in one breath as she stood, shivering. Jack pulled his jacket off the wall hook. "Here." He put it around her shoulders._

"_Thanks, Lieutenant Colonel." Janet said, with a trace of her usual mischievousness./_

"Lieutenant Colonel?" Jacob questioned.

"They had to do something to get him back after four months in Iraq." Hammond replied.

"But he's so…" Sam began.

"Young?" Jacob finished.

Hammond merely nodded.

"Shh." Daniel said. On screen Jack had just been his usual subtle self and told Janet to:

_/"Cut the crap, Doc. I haven't seen you since I went AWOL –"_

"_I was reassigned." She interjected._

_Jack waved a hand in a gesture that broadly meant, 'Not important'. "And you turn up now? What's wrong?"_

_Janet suddenly seemed much smaller than usual, something that should have been impossible._

"_Doc?" Jack interrogated softly._

"_I want you to kill my husband." She said._

"_What!" Jack yelled, momentarily forgetting his sleeping family. Then, quieter, "What!"_

"_You heard me." Janet said, recovering slightly._

"_Why?"_

"_He's… hitting me, Jack." Janet said, softly. "He threatened to kill me."_

"_So divorce him." Jack said, though not in an uncaring way. "I'm not gonna kill your husband for you Janet."_

_It was evidently the first time he had used her name in a long time and Janet's eyes widened, momentarily, before she took in what he'd actually said. "Jack, **please**."_

"_Why're you askin' me?" _

"_You're my friend." She began._

_Jack cut in "Oh yeah, you like me enough to send me to jail!"_

"_You wouldn't get caught. You're too good." _

"_Doc…" Jack said, warningly. _

"_Please, Jack." She said again. _

"_What about Sara, and Charlie? I can't just kill your husband and come home and play nice, Doc." Jack was angry. Very angry._

"_You won't do this for me?" She asked, incredulous._

"_I can't." Jack replied._

"_You do it every time you're deployed." Janet almost snarled._

"_That's my job."_

"_Oh, yeah. They pay you to kill people you know nothing about. Is that it? You want money, Jack?"_

_Jack glared at her. Then stalked away, out into his back yard. The light from the house dimly illuminated the lawn. There were toys strewn everywhere. Baby toys. _

_Janet followed him out. She was still fuming. So was Jack. _

"_Get lost, Fraiser."_

"_Fraiser is it? Fine, **sir**." She said. Jack visibly winced at the 'sir'. "No, sir."_

"_I'm not gonna do it." He replied._

"_You selfish son-of-a-bitch." Janet said. "I brought you back from the whole heroin thing. I practically nursed you back to health single-handedly, and you won't do this thing for me?"_

_Jack spun to glare at her. "So what is it? A life for a life? I take your husband's life in return for you saving mine? No way." He glared at her for a long moment before continuing, "How the hell can you throw that back in my face?"_

_Janet seemed to realise what she'd said. "Oh, god, Jack, I'm sorry." She sagged, and tears began to fall. "I'm so scared."_

"_Leave him." _

"_He'll find me." She said in a small voice._

"_He won't look." Jack said. "I'll make sure of it."_

"_No."_

"_No?"_

"_I can't ask you for anything. Not after what I've said to you tonight. I'm sorry." Janet turned and practically ran through Jack's house._

"_Doc!" Jack called her back, but heard her car drive away. "Shit."_

"_Jack?" Sara O'Neill appeared in the doorway._

"_Sara, you should be asleep."_

"_Who was that woman?" Sara persisted._

_Jack frowned. "An old friend." He replied. "From the Air Force."_

"_Are you being deployed?" Sara asked._

"_No."_

_Sara was silent for a moment._

"_Sara?" _

"_Jack, are you having an affair?" She questioned. _

"_What? No!" Jack was shocked and angry. And hurt._

"_Oh," was all Sara said, before walking back into the house._

"_Shit." Jack said again./_

"Wow." Daniel said.

"Jack and Dr Fraiser never spoke again. Until I mentioned to him one day that we'd need a good CMO. He had her reassigned here." Hammond said quietly.

An hour after they'd begun to watch the images slowed once more. But they were fragmented.

_/A garden. Jack was with his wife. A gunshot._

"_Charlie!" Sara yelled. _

_Jack was running. /_

"Oh, god. We shouldn't watch this." Sam said, not able to take her eyes from the screen.

_/Blood. Blood was everywhere. The car was covered in it. Sara was screaming, endless sound. Jack was driving. Swerving in and out of traffic. 80mph. 90. 110. The needle kept climbing. In the back seat Sara was cradling their son. Jack had evidently gone into crisis mode. /_

_/The relatives room at the hospital. Sara was pacing. Jack was sitting stock still in a chair, staring at nothing. A man entered._

"_Dad!" Sara said, practically falling into the old man's arms. He rubbed her back, rocking her gently as she sobbed./_

_/Later. Sara's father was gone. A doctor entered the room._

"_Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill?"_

"_Yes." Jack said, his voice heavy./_

"He knew." Daniel murmured. "Before they told him he knew." He was alarmed at watching his friend turn into the man he had met on the first trip to Abydos.

_/"I'm very sorry –"_

_The rest of the doctor's speech was drowned out by Sara's scream. _

_Jack met the doctor's gaze. The man nodded and left the room. _

"_Sara…" Jack began._

"_**You!**" She yelled, venomously, "You did this! You killed our son!"_

_Jack looked stricken. He spun on his heel and started to leave. _

"_Jack! No! I'm sorry!" Jack left the room, almost running into Sara's father. "**Jack**!" Sara yelled./_

The images began to speed once more.

Daniel had his eyes closed. "Oh god." He whispered.

Sam was openly crying. Teal'c and the two generals had tears in their eyes; all three imagining what it would be like to lose a child like that.

"Oh god." Daniel repeated.

_/Jack was sitting in a psychiatrist's office._

"_You really should talk about this, Colonel. It would help." The psychiatrist sat opposite Jack._

_Jack said nothing. Didn't meet the doctor's eyes. He seemed catatonic._

"_You feel responsible for your son's death…" the psychiatrist prompted._

_Jack said nothing._

"_Colonel O'Neill, I cannot recommend you for active duty unless you-"_

"_Then don't." Jack spoke at last._

"_I'm sorry?"_

"_Don't recommend me for active duty. Sign me off."_

"_I'm afraid I can't do that…" the doctor began._

_Jack stood._

"_Sit **down**, Colonel."_

"_Bite me." Jack said, turning and exiting the room/_

The images began to accelerate again.

_/Jack sat alone in Charlie's room. He looked awful. His hair had grown out more than usual, he was unshaven. He was looking down at the gun in his hands. There were voices downstairs. _

_Two men appeared in the doorway to Charlie's room. They were wearing Air Force dress blues. _

"_Excuse me, Colonel O'Neill?" _

_Jack didn't look up._

_The man continued, "We're from General West's office, Sir. We're here to inform you that you've been reactivated."_

_The airmen faded from Jack's view. He could still hear them though._

_One of them said: "The guy's a mess, how'd he get like that?"_

"_His kid died, accidentally shot himself." The other replied._

"_Jesus."_

_Jack got up and walked into what was, presumably, his and Sara's bedroom. Opened the closet and pulled out his dress uniform. He slung it over one shoulder then walked out of the room. _

_He was confronted in the hallway by Sara. _

"_Where are you going?"_

_He said nothing. Tried to move past her._

"_Jack."_

"_Work." Jack's voice was hoarse, as if with disuse._

"_**Now**?"_

"_Yes."_

_Jack reached the top of the stairs._

"_Jack O'Neill, if you walk out on me now I won't let you come back."_

_Jack stopped. Slung his uniform over the banister. Walked back to Sara. He put his arms around her and held her tightly to him._

_Then he turned, walked back to the banister, picked up his uniform and began to walk down the stairs._

"_Oh my god. You're not planning on coming back, are you?" Sara's voice was almost a whisper. Something in her voice betrayed the fact that she knew he planned to die. Not just leave her. Die._

"_Jack…" She said brokenly._

_Barely audible, from somewhere near the bottom of the stairs came, "I'm sorry." Then the front door closing and the sound of a car starting up and driving away./_

None of the occupants of the room moved. They'd been sitting there so long, but they were riveted.


	5. A Better Man Than That

Chapter Five

The images showing now were familiar to Daniel. They were from the first trip to Abydos.

They were followed by some that no one recognised. Jack during his retirement, obviously.

Then his return to the SGC.

_/"General Hammond, sir?" Jack took up the 'respectful Airman' stance. "I regret to inform you that my report was not entirely accurate."/_

"'_Not entirely accurate…'" _ Hammond chuckled.

They saw the first briefing before his second trip to Abydos. The images slowed just enough for Sam's own words to him to come back and haunt her.

_/"Is that tough enough for you? Or are we gonna have to arm wrestle?"/_

Daniel sniggered. Sam slapped him gently on the arm. She caught the look on both her father's and General Hammond's faces. Both had gone red from trying to contain their laughter.

Suddenly O'Neill's voice sprang forth from the screen.

_/"I can save these people!" /_

"Y'know. I remember thinking he was gonna get us killed just then." Daniel said conversationally.

_/Teal'c spun, raised his staff weapon._

"_Help me!" Jack gave Teal'c a calculating look. "Help me." He said, in a quieter tone. _

"_Many have said that." Teal'c growled. /_

"I guess I should have trusted Jack." Daniel concluded.

_/"But you are the first I believe could do it!" Teal'c said, throwing Jack his staff weapon./_

"Teal'c?" Hammond asked, pensively.

"You wish to know how I knew that O'Neill could save those people." Teal'c stated.

Hammond nodded.

"I saw it. In his eyes. In his demeanour." Teal'c turned to his friends. "I could see that all of you knew freedom. But O'Neill, seemed to be the one who could bring it."

"I know what you mean." Daniel said.

_/Jack was in the control room with General Hammond. Below them in the gateroom Teal'c was struggling with Charlie Kawalsky. _

_The gate was active./_

"I remember this," Daniel said.

Sam nodded. "When Major Kawalsky was infected with a Goa'uld."

_/Jack leaned forwards and opened the mic. "Teal'c! Hold him there!"_

_Teal'c pushed Kawalsky's head into the event horizon._

_Jack turned to Walter. "Shut it down! Now!"_

_The gate shut down and Teal'c released his grip on Kawalsky, who fell to the ramp._

_Jack ran in and up the ramp._

_A small piece of the Goa'uld fell out of Kawalsky's head and shrivelled up on the ramp._

_Jack and Teal'c knelt down to look at the dead man._

"_He was your friend." Teal'c said softly._

"_My friend died on the table." Jack said, getting up and walking down the ramp./_

The images began to whirr past again.

Presently, Jacob said, "Uh… Sam?"

"Dad?"

"What's going on here?" Jacob indicated the screen.

_/Jack was in the SGC locker room rubbing a towel over his face and wet hair./_

Sam buried her head in her hands. "Oh no…"

_/Suddenly, Jack's locker door slammed shut, revealing a barely clothed Sam Carter. _

_Jack hurriedly yanked his shirt over his head. "Carter! Uh... sorry, didn't know you were in here."_

_Sam grabbed him and pulled him to her grabbing his head and kissing him passionately./_

Sam groaned. "Oh God."

_/Jack's voice was muffled. "Mmph! Hey!" He managed to get free of Sam's grip "What the hell's going on?"_

_Sam looked like a woman crazed. "I want you." She grabbed him and kissed him again._

"_Why? I mean, no!" Jack managed to pull her off him again. "Carter, this is a little out of line, don't you think?"_

_She grabbed him by the shoulders, threw him on the locker room bench, and straddled him. _

"_You want me?" Sam asked, breathlessly. Leaning down and kissing him a third time._

"_No, not like this, not like – "_

_She kissed him again, effectively cutting him off again. But he got the upper hand, grabbing her shoulders and rolling off the bench, pinning her to the ground._

"_It's about time you saw a doctor, doctor." Jack growled, his voice hoarse._

_He dragged her up and out of the locker room./_

The scenes began to flash past again.

There was silence once more in the room. Embarrassed silence on Sam's part. Desperately-trying-not-to-laugh silence on the part of everyone else.

"So…" Jacob started, his voice strained. "That's where it started."

"Where what started?" Sam asked.

Jacob ignored her, instead paying attention to Hammond, who said, "Are you kidding? It was in the briefing room, the first time they met."

"What are you talking about?" Sam demanded.

"If you don't know, we're not gonna tell you." Daniel sing-songed.

"Indeed." Teal'c said.

Sam glared at them all.

The images progressed quite a way before slowing once more.

_/Jack was on board what looked like a large Goa'uld ship. He was looking desperately through a forcefield at Sam, trapped on the other side._

"_Sir! Just go!" Sam shouted._

"_**No**!" Jack yelled back. /_

The images flashed past once more. Sam was looking down at the man in the room below.

"You know, I always thought that sucked." Daniel said, surprising everyone in the room.

"Doctor Jackson?" Hammond questioned.

"Well… Jack wouldn't have left any of us behind." Daniel reasoned. "It was only his reason for not leaving Sam that was different, and that got him into trouble. That sucks."

Sam nodded mute agreement. General Hammond said nothing.

The next set of slower images were strange. Nobody recognised them, or had even heard about them, except Teal'c, who smiled happily when he saw them.

_/Jack riding his bike through the corridors of the SGC./_

_/Jack at a potter's wheel. /_

_/Jack and Teal'c playing golf through the Gate. _

"_Colonel O'Neill! What the hell are you doing!" Hammond's voice came from the control room._

"_In the middle of my backswing!" Jack yelled back./_

_/Jack entered the control room, dressed in civvies. He walked up to General Hammond and handed him a piece of paper._

"_Colonel, what are you doing out of uniform?" Hammond asked._

_Jack looked at his watch, and turned to face Sam, who had come over to them. "Handing you my resignation." He replied._

"_Resigning? What for?" Sam asked, confused._

"_So I can do ... this!"_

_Jack took Sam's face between his hands and kissed her on the mouth. As she responded to the kiss he turned and dipped her. Behind them General Hammond looked about ready to have a heart attack./_

"I can't believe he did that!" Sam and Daniel exclaimed together.

"I can't believe he resigned first." Jacob said.

"O'Neill was concerned that the loops might cease, he did not wish to get MajorCarter in trouble." Teal'c said.

"You knew!" Sam said.

"I did."

"You could have told me!"

"Why?"

Sam didn't have an answer.

On screen the images continued to flicker, occasionally slowing slightly.

_/Jack in an SGC corridor facing down an entity-possessed Sam. He zatted her, twice./_

"Ouch." Sam said.

_/Jack catching Teal'c's dead body as he fell to the ground on Vorash, the Tok'ra's abandoned base./_

When the images slowed enough to depict a full scene, only Daniel recognised it.

_/Daniel and Jack were standing in the gate room, at the base of the ramp. The room was bathed in an eerie bright light. _

_Jack looked confused. _"_Daniel?"_

"_Yeah." Replied Daniel, apparently unable to think of anything else to say._

"_Did you want something?" Jack asked softly._

"_Yeah. Tell Jacob to stop."_

_Jack looked surprised at his friend's request. "Why?"_

"_Because I'm ready to move on." Daniel looked both extremely happy and extremely sad._

"_You just giving up?"_

"_No. No, I'm not giving up, believe me."_

_Oma Desala was on the ramp. Jack and Daniel looked up at her and she turned into energy. Then she floated into the Stargate and activated it. The wormhole was extremely bright. _

_Daniel smiled slightly and gestured towards her. "You remember Oma?"_

"_Sure."_

"_I think I can do more this way. It's what I want. I have to go now. Everything's gonna be fine. Please Jack. Tell Jacob to stop."_

_Suddenly Jack was back in the infirmary, watching Jacob try to heal Daniel. _

"_Jacob, stop." Jack said, his voice hoarse._

"_Are you serious?" Jacob asked._

"_It's what he wants."_

_Jacob looked across Daniel's bed at Dr Fraiser. "Someone else want to tell me what to do?"_

_It was Jack who answered him. "Just let him go."_

_Jacob lowered the hand device. Daniel inhaled, once, then the machines showed his heart stopping._

"_Colonel!" Janet sounded panicked._

_Daniel began to glow as he ascended._

_Jack was back in the gateroom with Daniel. _

"_I'm gonna miss you guys." Daniel said, fighting back emotion._

"_Yeah, you too." Jack replied, smiling slightly._

"_Thank you. For everything."_

_Jack was obviously extremely upset and confused and trying not to show it. "So, what? See you around?"_

_Daniel smiled as he realised he had no idea how to answer the question. "I don't know."_

_Daniel turned and walked up the ramp to the glowing Stargate._

"_Hey. Where are you going?" Jack called after him._

_Again Daniel was confused. "I don't know."_

_He walked through the Gate and Jack watched, smiling slightly./_

Daniel spoke. "I remember that." He said quietly.

Sam gently laid her hand on his arm.

The next time the scene changed the atmosphere was very different

_/Jack was sitting on the floor in his on-base quarters. His knees were drawn up and his arms were resting on them. His hands hung limply from the wrists._

_The room was wrecked. Things lay broken on the floor. The only illumination came from a bedside lamp that lay, somehow intact, on the floor._

_There was a knock on the door. _

"_Go. Away." Jack growled._

_The door opened anyway and General Hammond stepped in._

"_Fine, come on in." Jack said, not looking at who had entered the room._

_General Hammond glanced around the room. He sighed and carefully sank down beside Jack._

"_Jack."_

"_George." Jack replied, determined to be difficult. He still did not look up._

_After a moment's silence Jack asked, "You got SF's spying on Carter and Teal'c too?"_

_Hammond snorted, amused. "Just you."_

"_Why?"_

"_I suspected you would be more…" Hammond paused, searching for the right word. "…volatile in your grief."_

_Jack looked around at the carnage. "Very perceptive."_

"_Are you gonna be okay, Jack?" Hammond asked._

_Jack ignored the question, instead asking one of his own. "Do they blame me?"_

"_Major Carter and Teal'c?" Hammond asked. _

_Jack nodded. _

"_No, they don't."_

"_I'm quitting, you know." Jack said._

"_You are not." Hammond said, his voice firm and certain._

"_Excuse me?" Jack asked, glancing sideways at his CO._

"_Jack, I read your psyche evaluations from before and after the first Abydos mission. A very different Colonel O'Neill returned from Abydos, largely due, I think, to one Dr Daniel Jackson. You owe it to him to keep being the man that came back."_

_Jack sighed, scrubbed a hand over his face. "Sir, its **Daniel**."_

"_I know, son."_

_The two men sat quietly for a moment._

"_You're gonna be okay, Jack."_

"_That an order?"_

_Hammond smiled. "You should talk with your team about this."_

"_Please. Teal'c doesn't need to talk. He actually **gets** the whole 'higher plane' thing."_

"_And Major Carter?" Hammond pressed._

"_Carter thinks I'm the heartless bastard who let Daniel die. I wouldn't want to disillusion her."_

"_That's not what she thinks, Jack." Hammond said softly._

_The klaxons sounded, signalling that the Stargate was activating._

"_You better go, sir. They're playing your song."_

_Hammond laughed at that. "Help me up. I'm an old man, you know."_

_Jack stood and pulled Hammond to his feet._

"_This isn't your fault, son." Hammond said._

_Jack didn't reply._

"_I'll send someone to-" Hammond began, gesturing at the mess surrounding them._

"_No. I'll do it." Jack said._

"_SG-1?" Hammond asked._

"_Stay on active duty. We need to be able to do this. To move on." Jack said firmly._

_Hammond nodded._

"_See you tomorrow, Jack." _

_Jack nodded._

_Hammond paused at the door. "And Colonel?" Jack looked at him. "Try to be gentle with our SF's. It's not their fault you can see 'em coming a mile off." _

_Hammond exited the room, leaving Jack all alone./_

"We had no idea." Sam said.

"Of course we did not." Teal'c replied, "O'Neill took measures to ensure that was so."

The next image was fleeting, but was a happier one.

_/Jack was piloting a death glider. Behind him sat Jonas Quinn. To their left Teal'c and Sam flew another death glider._

_Jacob's voice came over the radio. "What about Jonas?"_

_Jack paused before he spoke into his radio. "**All **members of SG-1 present and accounted for."_

_Behind him Jonas grinned widely._

_Jack spoke into his radio again. "Teal'c, take lead."_

_Teal'c saluted Jack, then pulled away._

"_Are you smiling?" Jack asked Jonas suspiciously. _

"_First time in a death glider." Jonas grinned._

"_Oh!" Jack said, mischievously. "Well…" He took the death glider into a barrel roll, smiling. _

_Jonas looked positively sick./_

The next memory was horrible.

_/Jack was trapped against some sort of web-frame on a wall. Opposite him, holding a knife that seemed to be drawn to Jack's body, was Baal. _

_Baal spoke. "Do you not know the pain you will suffer for this impudence?" _

"_I don't know the meaning of the word!" Jack said. Then: "Seriously, impudence, what does that mean?"/_

"This seems familiar…" Daniel muttered, slightly confused.

_/Jack's eyes opened. He was in a sarcophagus. _

_Then he was sliding down a wall into a cell._

_He stood looking up at the opening. A woman was there, looking down at him. _

"_Is it you?" She asked._

_Jack looked utterly confused. Then he heard: _

"_Hi Jack."_

_Jack looked down to see Daniel sitting opposite him in the cell._

_Daniel was wearing a white jumper and chinos. He had no glasses on. He gave Jack a little wave._

_"Daniel?" Jack asked._

_"I leave...and look at the mess you get yourself into."_

_Jack just looked at him, nonplussed._

_"It's good to see you."_

_"Yeah...you too." Jack said, sitting down opposite Daniel. "Shame you're a delusion."_

_Daniel hastily corrected his friend. "No, I'm here... I'm really here."_

_Jack's face conveyed his scepticism. "Sure you are." He thought for a moment, then removed his shoe and tossed it at Daniel. It passed through him, bounced off the wall and back towards Jack._

_"Here in the sense that my consciousness is here, if not here in the full physical flesh and blood sense, which is really neither...here nor there. The point is...you're not imaging this." Daniel said quickly._

_"I just tossed my shoe through you." Jack pointed out helpfully._

_Daniel was mildly annoyed. "Yes you did. That's because I've ascended to another plane of existence."_

_"Ohhh," was all Jack said._

_"Remember Oma Desala, the whole...glowing thing, you helped me out. I couldn't have done hat without you, remember that?" Daniel spoke as if leading a child through something simple._

_"Yeah."_

_"I'm… I'm energy now..."_

_"How's that workin' out for ya?" Jack asked._

_"Good, actually...very..."_

_"Good."_

_"Very good. You...however..."_

_Jack shrugged "Yeah, well...you know what it's like…" he got up to retrieve his shoe, "…comin' back from the dead. Takes a while to get the colour back in the cheeks."_

_"Yeah..."_

_Jack re-took his seat. Then pointed his shoe at Daniel. "So...not a delusion?"_

_Daniel shook his head. "No."/_

"He threw a _shoe _through me?" Daniel said.

"O'Neill is nothing if not practical." Teal'c said, with a trace of a smirk in his voice.

There were more imagesshowing Baal torturing Jack. They were extremely difficult to watch.

_/Jack was in his cell talking to Daniel. He looked exhausted, almost defeated._

"_How many more times do you think you can go into that sarcophagus before it starts changing you?" Daniel was saying. "How many times has it been already? It can regenerate your body, make you strong enough to go through that all over again, but all the time, it's destroying who you are...and once that happens...you won't be able to ascend no matter how much you want to."/_

"You offered to help him ascend?" Sam asked in a quiet voice.

Daniel nodded, mutely. He looked as though he was remembering this as he saw it.

_/"Hey...I appreciate what you're trying to do." Jack said._

_"I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe you could do it." Daniel replied._

_"This is me we're talkin' about!" Jack was incredulous._

_"Yes, it is. Now, please...just try...to open your mind." Daniel said patiently._

_"Oh...stop it, will ya?" Jack said, seeming mildly embarrassed._

_"Come on, Jack. You think the Asgard named uh, a ship after you because they thought it was a cool name? Now's not the time to play dumb. You're a lot smarter than that. They saw our potential in you...because of who you are and what you've done. Humanity's potential...that's the same thing Oma saw in me."_

_"I am not you."_

"_Yeah, when has that ever stopped you from doing anything?" Daniel challenged._

"_Okay...put yourself in my shoes and me in yours..."_

_"You'd be here for me..." Daniel said, clearly not sure where Jack was going with this._

_"Damn straight! I'd have busted you out...blown this rat hole to hell and made sure that son-of-a-bitch suffered!" Jack said, gesturing for emphasis._

_"The Others would have stopped you..."_

_"They'd have a hell of a fight on their hands..."_

_"You wouldn't do that..." Daniel said._

_"Baal would be dead..." Jack was getting more and more worked up._

_"Jack..."_

_"...And don't think I'd stop there!"_

_"You're a better man than that..." Daniel said._

_"That's where you're wrong!" Jack yelled._

_The two friends stared at one another. Daniel was the first to look away._

_"Right now, I can't imagine doing or being anything other than what I am. I see things, I understand things, in a way I never could have before. But I chose this. Even when Jacob was trying to heal me, I chose this. But you in the place you're at right now...you don't have any other choices. This is not your life we're talking about, Jack! This is your soul! This is it...what I'm offering you is your only way out." He said._

_Jack was quieter now. "You're wrong about that too... I have another choice." _

_Daniel closed his eyes and shook his head. "What are you talking about?" _

_Jack just looked at him. Suddenly Daniel got his meaning. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "No."_

_"Any minute, they're gonna come. Baal is gonna kill me again. You can make it the last time." Jack sounded just slightly desperate now._

_"Don't ask me to do that..." Daniel pleaded quietly._

_"You can put an end to it..."_

_"I won't do it..." _

_At the sound of the door opening above them and Baal's Jaffa approaching, both men looked up._

_"I'd do it for you, and you know it." Jack said./_

"Well that wasn't in his report." Hammond said, in an effort to get SG-1 to accept and move on.

Daniel smiled sadly. "Jack probably thought he'd imagined it."

"Do you remember it?" Sam asked.

"I do now. All of it." Daniel said.

A shadow passed over his face and they knew he was remembering the torture.

The images sped by again.

"DanielJackson, you helped me greatly when I needed you. I am glad you were able to do this for O'Neill also." Teal'c said.

"Thanks Teal'c." Daniel said. Then, "I just couldn't… I couldn't do what he asked." He said.

"I, for one, am glad you did not." Teal'c said.

Daniel smiled at that.


	6. Not Your Fault, Colonel

Chapter Six

_/Jack was sitting on an infirmary bed, swinging his long legs. He was tossing a roll of bandage back and forth between his hands. _

_Janet Fraiser approached him._

"_Hey, Doc. You wanted to see me?"_

"_Yes, Colonel," Janet said, taking the bandage from him and setting it down on the bedside cabinet. "I wanted to talk to you about your physical."_

"_Uh oh." Jack said._

"_You know what I'm going to say, don't you?" Janet said, narrowing her eyes._

"_Not a clue." Jack said, in an altogether too-innocent tone._

"_How's the knee, Colonel?" Janet asked._

_Jack seemed thrown by such a direct line of questioning. "It's…"_

"_Fine." Janet said. "In fact it's better than fine. I don't know why it didn't occur to me before."_

"_What?" Jack said, looking uncomfortable._

"_The sarcophagus."_

_Jack winced slightly._

"_And Kanan." Janet said, apparently enjoying upsetting Colonel O'Neill._

"_They fixed you, didn't they?" Janet demanded. _

_Jack nodded. "But you can't tell anyone, Doc." He pleaded._

"_Why not?"_

"_Cos." Jack was getting more and more childish as the conversation went on._

"_Because what?"_

"_It's a good excuse." Jack murmured, not looking at her._

"_Excuse?"_

_Jack looked up. "**Please**, Doc._"_ He begged._

"_Sir…"_

"_**Please**."_

"_I have to tell General Hammond…" Janet said, but she was coming around, it was in her eyes._

"_Especially not Hammond." Jack said, pushing her._

"_Sir! It's my duty as your doctor to report –"_

"_If there's anything wrong with me." Jack finished. "There's not." He pointed out._

_Janet narrowed her eyes. "Why?" She asked again._

"_Just in case I need an out. It's an easy way to go. Very little paperwork." Jack said._

"_You could just retire." Janet said, adding "Sir." As an afterthought._

"_Hammond won't let me." _

"_You've tried?"_

"_Once. He said not to bother him with it again." Jack sulked._

_Janet smiled at that. "You walk a fine line, Colonel." She said, finally caving under the intensity of the brown-eyed stare._

"_And it's much easier to do that now." He quipped, jumping off the bed. "We done?" /_

"The lying son-of-a-" 

"George you knew what he was like when you took him on." Jacob admonished gently.

Hammond chuckled.

There were lots of images flashing by now. They saw images of Fifth; Jack stranded with Maybourne; Nirrti; they saw SG-1 talking to Skaara after Anubis destroyed the huge pyramid on Abydos, killing everyone.

They saw Daniel returned to them; Jack dropping his clone off at high school; the Super Soldiers; Jack in the South American jungle, hunting for Daniel; they saw Jack walk into the SGC locker room, followed by Teal'c.

_/Jack didn't turn. "I don't wanna hear it!"_

_Teal'c said nothing._

"_Good, 'cos I'm not in the mood."_

_Teal'c still said nothing._

"_All right, what?"_

_Finally Teal'c spoke. "When ColonelMaybourne and yourself were stranded offworld, MajorCarter felt a similar sense of frustration. She despaired at the thought of never seeing you again"_

_Jack, being Jack, tried to add some levity to the situation, to detract from the seriousness. "Not you?"_

"_Indeed. You are like a brother to me O'Neill."_

"_You're like, what? 140?" Jack said._

"_A younger brother perhaps." Teal'c conceded. "But that is not my point."_

"_Look T, I know what you're trying to do and I appreciate it." Jack said./_

The images began to flicker once more.

_/Jack knocked on the door to General Hammond's office. _

"_Come."_

_Jack walked in. "You wanted to see me, sir?"_

"_Close the door, Colonel." Hammond said._

_Jack did so. From the look on his face he was desperately trying to work out what he'd done **this** time._

"_Have a seat, Jack."_

_Jack sat. "What's goin' on, General?" He asked._

"_I have received notification that a background check has been run on one of my officers." _

"_Who?"_

"_Major Carter." General Hammond said./_

"A background check?" Sam asked.

General Hammond nodded.

"Who requested it?" Sam asked, knowing the answer.

"Detective Shanahan." General Hammond replied.

"Why didn't anyone tell me about this, sir?" Sam asked.

Hammond nodded to the screen.

_/"Jack, as her CO you should be the one to inform Major Carter about this…" _

_Jack snorted, "Yeah that'd look real good." _

"_Colonel?" General Hammond asked, but there was the light of understanding in his eyes._

"_Sir… to be honest, this is the first time Carter's been this… happy in **years**. I don't think we have the right to take that away from her."_

"_I understand, Jack, but she has a right to know."/_

"Damn right she does." Sam remarked indignantly.

_/"Why? He didn't get anything, did he?" Jack asked._

_Hammond shook his head._

"_Well, then. The program's fine. Carter's fine. You just gave Shanahan security clearance-"_

"_At your recommendation, Colonel," Hammond interrupted. _

_Jack ignored this. "Shanahan's a cop, he's suspicious by nature. They'll work it out, sir."_

"_I still think someone should tell her, Jack, even if its not you."_

"_No, sir. How is Carter ever gonna get a life, if we don't let her?"_

"_It's your call, son." Hammond said._

"_Yessir." Jack replied._

"_Think about it."_

"_I will sir." Jack said, rising, and turning towards the door._

"_Y'know," Hammond said, slightly reproachful, "You're supposed to wait 'til I dismiss you, Colonel."/_

The scenes began to whirr by again.

Hammond spoke, "When I first thought about taking him on as my 2IC a lot of other officers warned me. They said he was insubordinate, sarcastic, a maverick."

"Clichés." Daniel said, smiling.

"They forgot to mention how good he is at what he does." General Hammond saw the looks they threw him, "Not what's in his file." He added, "The more… human… more intuitive things he does. Like when he wouldn't drop it about you joining SG-1," he said to Teal'c. "He was right too," he mused.

"He didn't say anything to me." Sam said. "Even when I was talking to him about getting engaged to Pete, he didn't say anything." Sam looked around at her friends "Why didn't he trust me to know what I was doing?"

"O'Neill wished for you to be happy, ColonelCarter." Teal'c said, softly.

"I know that. I wish he'd told me. We wouldn't have had to waste so much time." Sam said, not bothering to spell out what she meant.

The next clear image was of Jack being chased by a camera crew.

The room's occupants tensed, they knew they were going to have to watch the loss of Janet Fraiser again, from Jack's point of view.

Surprisingly they didn't have to see much of it. The services, both the one at the SGC and the civil one they held so that Cassie would have somewhere to go, flashed past. In both cases Jack had said nothing, at the civil ceremony he stood with his sunglasses on the whole time before taking Cassie home.

Then the images slowed.

_/It was dark. Jack made his way through the cemetery a little unsteadily, as if he were slightly drunk. He wound his way through the head stones until he found the one he was looking for._

_It read:_

JANET FRAISER 

_Jack sat down heavily next to it._

"_Hey Doc." He said quietly. "Thought I'd come say hi. Sorry I wasn't particularly talkative at the service, but you know me. Huh. I'm sorry a lot, aren't I?_

"_God, Doc, I'm so sorry." Jack said, his voice breaking slightly. "Sorry I screwed up –** again**. I shoulda gotten you more cover. Shoulda been quicker to shoot that damn Jaffa I saw sneaking to your position. Shoulda shot your damn husband too, evil son-of-a-bitch. Guess I let you down again. I'm sorry Doc." He sounded miserable._

_Jack paused, unsure what to say next._

"_Everyone's hurting. Cassie, Daniel, Carter, Teal'c, Hammond. Me. We were good friends once, 'til I screwed that up too. Now everyone's dead, 'cept me. Fucking sucks."_

_Jack's mind seemed to replay what he'd just said. "God I'm drunk. Superior officer equals superior fuck up. I just wanted to come say goodbye." He paused. "And sorry. Can't forget sorry." He shook his head. "Probably boring you with incoherent babbling now. So I'm gonna go."_

_He stood, brushing himself off and swaying slightly. "See ya around, Doc." He paused. "Janet." He left./_

"You know, he never said anything, even to me." Daniel said.

"Why would he?" Teal'c asked. "You had your own grief. It would be unlike O'Neill to burden you with his."

"I guess." Daniel said, half-sulkily.

_/SG-1 were crouched in a monument of the Ancients. Death gliders swooped overhead, firing at the ground._

_Daniel was speaking, shouting to be heard over the noise. "Jack, somebody has to do it. The answer is in there!" He pointed at the Ancients' Repository. "If we don't find the Lost City we're as good as dead. Let me do it."_

"_And who does the translating, when you go Ancient?" Jack asked. The death gliders swooped past again. Daniel looked away. Jack ripped off his hat and shoved it into Daniel's hands. "In fact you're the one person who **can **do it."_

_Jack sped towards the device, allowing it to take hold of his head._

"_Jack!" Daniel yelled, just as Sam yelled "Sir!"/_

"Lucky it was him." Jacob remarked.

"What? Why?" Daniel asked.

"I was thinking the same thing." Sam said. "You probably need the Ancients' Gene to be able to use those things. That's why it activated when he walked through that circle six years ago."

"Makes sense." Jacob said.

_/Jack and Sam were in the cargo ship's engine room. Jack was modifying the engines./_

"Now that is a truly strange sight." Jacob remarked dryly. When the others looked at him he clarified, "Jack doing something on that cargo ship other than asking if we're there yet." They smiled.

_/Jack finished what he was doing and looked up at Sam. "Gimme your zat."_

_Sam handed it to him. Jack shot the crystals and the engine whine went up a notch. _

"_There you go." Jack said, handing Sam back the zat._

"_Sir. I think you should know that General Hammond authorised me to take command of the team if I determined that you…" Sam began._

_Jack cut her off. "Do it now."_

"_Sir, I don't think that's necessary..."_

"_I trust you. I'll make it easy for you. I resign. You're in charge."_

_Sam seemed uncomfortable for a moment. Then: "Okay... Sir, at your house before Daniel and Teal'c showed up, what I was gonna say was..."_

"_I know."_

_They looked at one another over the crystals for a long moment. Then Jack pushed them back in./_

"He never let me finish." Sam said.

"Perhaps he didn't want you to say something you would later regret, ColonelCarter." Teal'c said.

Sam looked at him, then back at the screen, unseeing. "Yeah." She said, softly.

Then Jacob spoke into the silence. "Stubborn." He didn't clarify who he was talking about. Sam got the feeling he meant both her and O'Neill.

They saw Jack healing Bra'tac, using the power of the Ancients. They saw their arrival in Antarctica, Hammond's arrival with the _Prometheus_. They saw Jack walk through Anubis' hologram, pushing his hand through its face. They saw the gold drone bugs fly out of the Ancients' outpost.

_/Jack was slumped in the Ancients' chair. _

"_Sir?" Sam said. She walked over to him and lifted his head, feeling his pulse. "Sir?" She turned to Daniel and Teal'c. "His pulse is erratic." She turned back to address Jack. "Don't you dare leave us now. We won."_

_Jack's eyes opened slightly. He moved his head, obviously very_ _weak. _

"_Colonel." Sam said._

_He gazed weakly back at her._

"_Please, Jack." Sam pleaded in whisper._

"_Dormata." Jack whispered back._

_Sam looked to Daniel, waiting for a translation._

"_That thing." Daniel said, indicating a pod._

_Teal'c lifted Jack out of the chair and carried him to the pod, standing him inside. Lights came on in the pod._

_Teal'c stood back as his team-mates joined him._

"_Now what?" Sam asked._

_When Jack spoke his voice was barely there. "Aveo ... amacus."_

_Both Sam and Teal'c looked to Daniel._

"_Goodbye." He translated./_

"I didn't think he would remember much of that." Sam said.

"He said he didn't remember anything, when we were on Thor's ship." Daniel replied.

"He probably didn't." Jacob said. "At that point, at least."

The next images were of Jack waking up. Then fighting the replicators, and finding Sam.

_/Jack was on board the _Daniel Jackson_, with Thor. The rest of SG-1 were not around._

"_O'Neill, there is something we must discuss." Thor said._

"_Yeah?" _

"_I do not wish you to be alarmed, but I was unable to fully remove the knowledge of the Ancients from your mind."_

"_What!" Jack yelled. Then, apparently remembering who he was talking to, he checked himself. "What?"_

"_Had I done so, you would have ceased to be. The process was allowed to progress too far. I am sorry, O'Neill."_

"_So I'm gonna die anyway?" Jack asked._

"_You are not." Thor replied._

"_But I thought…" Jack began._

"_I have succeeded in confining the information. It will not affect you in any way."_

_Jack narrowed his eyes at the Asgard. "But it's still there, just in case you guys want it, huh?" He said shrewdly._

_Thor nodded his large head. "I am sorry, O'Neill." He said._

"_Ack. I'm alive, aren't I?" Thor nodded. "So what've I got to complain about?" When Thor looked as though he was about to answer Jack held up a hand. "It was rhetorical, buddy."/_

"He lied!" Daniel exclaimed.

"Again." Teal'c said.

"Technically, he didn't." Sam said.

They looked at her, but it was General Hammond who spoke next. "Did anyone ask him specifically if the knowledge of the Ancients had been removed?"

They all knew that no one had.

"There you go." Sam said.

"Damn evasive Special Ops." Daniel muttered, not quite under his breath.

_/Jack walked into Sam's lab. "Carter."_

_Sam looked up. "Sir."_

"_I never thought I'd hear myself utter these words: I need that report."_

_Sam looked mildly panicked. "Right! Um, I just need to, uh, finish typing up my notes." She shuffled through the paperwork on her desk. "Uh, yeah, I'll have it for you first thing tomorrow."_

_Jack examined his watch. "It **is** tomorrow."_

_Sam looked at her own watch "Oh."_

"_I'm joking! I don't need the report!"_

_Sam looked confused. "Well, then, why...?"_

_Jack interrupted her. "Because something's going on with you. You haven't tried to confuse me with any scientific babble for the last couple of days and that's a red flag to me."_

_Sam sighed. She picked up a small jewellery box and handed it to Jack._

"_Pete gave me this."_

_Jack opened the box, looked at the ring, then back up at Sam. _

"_People normally wear these on their fingers." He said._

"_I haven't said yes."_

"_And yet - you haven't said no." Jack closed the box._

"_I told him I needed to think about it."_

"_And?"_

"_That was two weeks ago." Sam said._

"_Ah!" _

"_Y'know," Sam began, "all these years I've been concentrating on work - I just assumed that one day I would…"_

"_Have a life?" Jack interrupted._

"_Yeah!"_

"_Yeah." Jack repeated._

"_And now it comes down to it, I don't know. I mean, every time we go through the Gate, we risk not coming back. Is it fair to put somebody else through that?" Sam asked._

"_Pete **is** a cop," Jack reasoned, "I think he could handle it."_

"_What about kids?"_

"_What about 'em?_

"_Do I take maternity leave and then come back? What, do I drop the baby off at day-care on my way to some unexplored planet on the edge of the Crab Nebula?"_

"_Carter, there **are** people on this base who have families." Jack said._

_Sam thought for a moment. Then looked up at Jack. "What about you? If things had been different..." she trailed off, unable to complete her sentence._

_Jack was quiet for a moment. Then he spoke. "I wouldn't be here." He said./_

"Wow, you really did give him that chance, didn't you?" Daniel asked, remembering Jack and Sam's earlier argument on the mothership.

"Yeah." She said softly.

"Funny." Jacob said.

"What is?" Daniel asked.

"The things Jack remembers in detail."

"I know what you mean." Hammond said. "He doesn't seem to really remember the things you'd think he would. Missions, that sort of thing."

_/Jack was sitting in his office, reading mission reports. There was a knock at the door._

"_Come." He called._

_Daniel and Teal'c walked in._

"_Hey guys!" Jack said happily, pushing the mission reports to one side. "What's up?"_

"_We want to talk to you about Sam." Daniel said._

"_Uh huh. Why?" Jack asked._

"_ColonelCarter is engaged." Teal'c said._

"_I know." _

"_You **know**?" Daniel repeated._

"_Yep. We talked about it coupla days ago." Jack replied, suddenly finding interest in the discarded mission reports._

"_You talked?" Daniel said._

"_Yeah. Well, mostly Carter was worried, and I reassured her."_

"_You did what?" Daniel's voice was getting louder._

"_Daniel, don't yell, I'm right here." Jack said. _

"_Sorry. You **reassured**__her?" Daniel asked._

"_What's wrong with that?" Jack asked._

"_Everything!" Daniel said, flopping down in the chair opposite Jack. /_

Daniel shot a look at Sam, "Sorry." He said.

She shook her head, engrossed in what her friends were saying on the screen.

_/"Teal'c?" Jack asked, giving up on Daniel._

"_O'Neill, do you not harbour feelings for Colonel-"_

"_Right that's it. Stop right there!" Jack said. "Sit." He said to Teal'c, who inclined his head and took a seat._

"_Right, first of all, there are no feelings" Daniel opened his mouth to speak. "Ah!" Jack held up a warning finger. "And, if there were, it wouldn't matter anyway. Right, second, it really is none of our business who Carter gets engaged, or even married to. She's a grown woman, for cryin' out loud! Okay?" He looked from Daniel to Teal'c and back again._

"_But, Jack…" _

"_**No**,Daniel. **Don't.**" _

_But Daniel wouldn't be swayed. "You have to talk to her, Jack. If not for yourself, then for her. This guy he's… not right."_

"_Daniel, I don't **have **to talk to Carter."_

"_You're supposed to be her friend." Daniel said._

"_And you guys are supposed to be my friends, and yet this is the first time I've seen you in like, what, three days?"_

"_O'Neill, I see you every day in the gym." Teal'c interjected._

"_I was talking to Danny there, T." Jack replied. _

"_Point taken, I've been locked up in my lab." Daniel admitted._

"_Just sayin' Daniel." Jack said in a softer tone. _

_Daniel opened his mouth, ready to say something further about Sam, but Jack jumped in, saying, "Right. We done here? Got a briefing." He hustled them out of his office and closed the door behind them, leaning on it._

"_Damn archaeologist." He muttered, before going back to his desk./_

As the images began to speed again Sam looked round at her friends. "I can't believe you guys did that." She said.

Daniel looked at her, trying to gauge how she felt about it.

Teal'c spoke. "I apologise for not speaking to you directly, ColonelCarter. However, DanielJackson and I felt that you would benefit more from speaking with O'Neill."

"How, exactly?" Sam asked.

"You would both then be happy." Teal'c said, leaving the other occupants of the room in no doubt to what he had expected O'Neill to say.

"Two birds with but one stone." Daniel said, in an uncanny impression of Teal'c, earning a giggle from Sam.

"Stubborn." Jacob muttered again.

As they watched the images flicker past, Sam sobered up. On screen she could see their recent experiences.

_/"Lieutenant Colonel Carter! On your feet!" /_

Sam jerked automatically, but managed to save herself the embarrassment of actually coming to attention. Jacob and General Hammond smiled.

_/"Oh for cryin' out loud, go to your safe place, Carter."/_

"I don't believe that actually worked." Jacob said, amused.

_/Sam in the cell, being held by Jack: "I thought I'd lost you."_

"_Yeah, well, rumours of my death, yadda yadda yadda…"/_

_/Jack and Daniel walking down a corridor on the mothership:_

"_You wanna say something, I can tell." Jack narrowed his eyes_ _at Daniel._

"_I do not."_

"_You do."_

"_Do not._

"_Do too."_

"_Don't."_

"_Do." _

"_Don't."_

"_Daniel!" _

"_It's just… you brought him along to help Sam, and it was you that ended up doing it." _

_When Jack said nothing, Daniel went on, "It just seems to me that –"_

_Jack cut him off, "Don't even go there, Daniel."/_

Then the images flickered again. They saw the Goa'uld using the hand device on Jack, and his subsequent argument with Sam. They saw him head to some sleeping quarters and lie down.

_/Jack woke up. Not that a casual observer would have been able to tell. There was no sudden intake of breath, he didn't sit up, didn't even open his eyes fully. _

_He had sensed someone in the dark room. _

_Suddenly he was hit by blue zat fire._

_As he fought to maintain consciousness Pete Shanahan loomed over him, smiling slightly._

_Shanahan held up a vial, the one that carried the memory suppressant drug, and pulled out the stopper._

"_Here we go O'Neill. Time to forget all about her." He said, his voice carrying a sing song tone. "No more General Jack O'Neill. And we all live happily ever after." Shanahan appeared to think about this for a moment, then added, "Not you of course."/_

"What the…? He's flipped." Daniel said.

Sam was staring in horror at the screen.

_/Jack struggled, but sleep combined with the zat blast made it easy for Shanahan to subdue him. _

_Shanahan held Jack's nose. When Jack was forced to open his mouth in order to breathe, Shanahan poured the liquid down his throat, not allowing Jack time to think._

_O'Neill swallowed convulsively._

_Shanahan backed away, satisfied._

"_Goodbye O'Neill." He said, as Jack tried to get up off the bed, then fell to the floor beside it._

"_When you wake up, you won't remember a thing." Was the last thing Jack heard before he lost consciousness. /_

The screen went blank.

"That's it." Jacob said, stating the obvious. He rose and left the room to detach the memory recall device from Jack's head.

"Has that guy been taking lessons from the Goa'uld? How to do sinister, in three easy steps." Daniel asked.

"It's my fault. Oh, god, what have I done?" Sam said quietly. "He did that because I broke it off with him."

"Sam, he as a jerk. He did that because he didn't like Jack." Daniel said.

"Dr Jackson is right, Colonel Carter." Hammond said.

"No, sir. You heard what he said. He wanted him to forget about _me_." Sam said.

"ColonelCarter, did you say anything to PeteShanahan concerning O'Neill?"

"No, but he worked it out anyway." Sam said, apparently forgetting that General Hammond was her superior officer.

"This isn't your fault, Sam." Hammond said, using her first name to reassure her.

Jacob re-entered the room. "He's just sleeping now." He told them.

Hammond nodded. "Go get some rest, people. I'll have you all paged when he wakes up." He thought for a moment, then added, "That's an order."

SG-1 nodded and stood. They filed out of the room and in the direction of their quarters.

Sam was the last to leave. "Sir, I just let Pete walk out of here." She said.

"I know. We'll find him." Hammond said, not taking his eyes off Jack. "This isn't your fault Colonel." He repeated, firmly.


	7. Declare me AWOL, then

Chapter Seven 

The base PA system boomed. "SG-1 to the briefing room. SG-1 to the briefing room."

When SG-1 arrived at the briefing room, breathless, they found only General Hammond and Jacob Carter there.

"Have a seat, SG-1." Hammond said.

The team shared uneasy looks as they took their seats.

They turned as Dr Brightman entered the room. The woman walked around the table and sat.

"I had you paged so that Dr Brightman could give us an update on General O'Neill's condition." Hammond said. "Dr Brightman?"

The woman nodded. "General O'Neill woke up about ten minutes ago."

As one being SG-1 stood.

"However," Dr Brightman continued, "We are running some tests, just to make sure he's physically fine."

SG-1 were still standing. "Sit down, SG-1." Hammond ordered.

"But sir…" Daniel began.

"No buts, Dr Jackson. You can see Jack when he is ready to come to the briefing room, you'll just be in the way in the infirmary." Hammond said firmly.

SG-1 reluctantly re-took their seats.

"Does Jack have his memory back?" Daniel asked.

"He seems to. I'm not really in a position to test him. But he knows who he is, where he is… things like that. So far he checks out." Dr Brightman said.

"You know, he's standing right here."

Everyone at the table jumped at the sound of Jack's voice. They turned to see him leaning in the doorway, arms folded across his chest, wearing blue BDU trousers and the usual black t-shirt.

"Jack!" Hammond said.

"You are supposed to be in the infirmary, sir." Dr Brightman said.

Jack said nothing. Two nurses cautiously approached him, trying to get him to go back to the infirmary. He turned.

"You," Jack said, pointing an index finger at them, "Go. Away." The nurses looked helplessly from him to Dr Brightman, who nodded. The nurses left.

Dr Brightman rose, and collected her papers. "I expect to see you in the infirmary after the debriefing, General." She said firmly, walking past Jack.

"Yeah, that'll happen." Jack said, his voice laced with sarcasm. Dr Brightman left.

Jack turned back to face the occupants of the room. "I just wanted to say thanks, for getting my memory back." He said, then turned and made to leave.

"Jack!" General Hammond called.

"Yessir?"

"Where are you going?"

"Home." Jack replied.

"Not just yet, Jack, we need to talk about some things. Have a seat."

Jack looked at the table. Hammond was sitting at the far end, with Jacob on his right. Next to Jacob sat Sam. Opposite them sat Daniel and Teal'c.

Jack took a seat opposite General Hammond, far away from the rest of the group. He stared down at the table.

Daniel studied Jack carefully. 'Yep, no doubt about it' he thought, 'he is **pissed.' **

"I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say it's good to have you back, Jack." General Hammond said, smiling paternally.

There were various murmurs of agreement from around the table.

Sam, still feeling guilty, could not bring herself to meet Jack's eyes, sure she would see reproach in them.

Jack nodded, said nothing.

Unperturbed, Hammond went on. "Now, perhaps you'd like to tell me why you didn't inform me that the Asgard were unable to remove the Ancient download from your brain?" Hammond said it good-naturedly; clearly Jack wasn't in any trouble.

Jack looked up. Hammond almost physically recoiled at the anger he saw in Jack's eyes.

"Should I have?"

"It would have been appropriate." General Hammond said, clearly confused at Jack's hostility.

"Appropriate?" Jack gave a harsh laugh.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Daniel asked.

"You all just sat around and watched my whole life like a bad cable movie!" Jack's voice wasn't loud, but it still felt as though he were shouting. "Now you know everything. I don't have to tell you a damn thing." He stood.

"Jack, sit down." General Hammond ordered, still speaking gently.

"No." Jack replied.

"No?"

"I can't do this shit anymore!" Jack exploded.

"What do you mean?" Daniel asked, trying to placate his friend by using a calm tone of voice, in the face of the knowledge that this tactic had never worked.

Jack's head spun to glare at Daniel. "I mean, Daniel," Jack said, nastily, as if talking to a particularly ignorant and obnoxious child, "that I'm outta here." He looked at Hammond. "I resign."

"I won't accept your resignation, Jack." Hammond said.

"Fine. Declare me AWOL, then, 'cos there is absolutely no fucking way I'm stayin' here."

Jack turned made to leave.

The table erupted.

"Jack!" Daniel.

"Sir!" Sam.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c.

"Jack!" Jacob.

General Hammond remained silent until Jack had yanked the briefing room door open. Then: "General O'Neill! Ten hut!"

Jack didn't come to attention. He stopped in the doorway and gave a short, mirthless laugh.

"General O'Neill?" He asked quietly, "It was Jack a minute ago." He turned back to face the room.

"General O'Neill, you have disobeyed a direct order, again! That is a court martialable offence. You will come back in here and you will-" Hammond began, angrily.

"No. I won't." Jack replied. He reached into the neck of his black t-shirt and pulled out his dogtags. He yanked them off, snapping the chain open at the clasp, and tossed them onto the briefing room table. "You wanna court martial me? Go ahead."

Without looking at them he turned and exited the room.

"Airman! Stop that man!" Hammond yelled at the airman standing outside.

As the man moved towards O'Neill they heard him growl "Don't touch me!" Before stalking away.

"I'm sorry sir, but-" The airman began.

"Its okay, son." Hammond said. "As you were."

From further down the corridor they heard, "No I won't just fucking sign anything! Get the hell outta my way!"

Daniel blew out a breath. "What was that?" He asked.

"Jack just had to live through all his memories again." Jacob reminded them.

"And we watched them." Hammond added.

"No wonder he's pissed." Daniel commented.

"I'm going after him." Sam said, rising.

"Sam?" Jacob asked.

"I need to explain. I need to tell him… never mind. General, with your permission?"

The Texan nodded, "See if you can knock some sense into the insubordinate son-of-a-bitch, Colonel." Sam hurried out of the briefing room, scooping up Jack's discarded dogtags as she went.

"Good luck!" Daniel called after her.

When he was certain she was out of earshot, Hammond said, "Well it's about damned time!" Jacob nodded his agreement.

Daniel nodded his agreement then realised who had spoken, "General? Shouldn't you be trying to stop her?"

"Dr Jackson, a wise, well, wise-ass, Air Force officer once said, in a formal debriefing, 'Screw the regs". And, for once, I'm inclined to agree with Jack."

Daniel laughed. "For a minute there I thought I was gonna have to go after him." Daniel said. "Somehow I don't think what I would have said to him would have had quite the same impact as what we hope Sam's gonna say."

"There is always the possibility that they will not-" Teal'c began.

"Teal'c, don't even say it! I don't think I can keep watching those two dance around one another." Jacob warned. He turned to Hammond. "George, I believe you have a phone call to make to your commander-in-chief." Hammond smiled and both men rose and walked into Jack's office.

Daniel looked at Teal'c. "They're very confident that they know what's gonna happen." He said, gesturing towards the two Generals.

"Indeed."


	8. Reconciliation

Chapter Eight

By the time Sam pulled up outside Jack's house, she was extremely nervous. She still had no idea what she was going to say.

Checking her watch she saw it was 22:30. Two hours since he'd left the briefing room.

She forced herself to get out of her car and walked towards the house.

Jack's truck was parked erratically outside his house. As if he'd just pulled into the driveway and stopped.

The lights were on in the house. Sam walked to the front door, pausing only slightly before she knocked loudly.

When no answer was forthcoming, she knocked again, harder.

Again, no answer.

Now that she had steeled herself to this, Sam was going to force herself to go through with it. She opened the door and walked into Jack's house.

Sam entered the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, located one of his ever-present beers, and took one. She leant back against the counter top, opened the beer and took a sip.

Jack finished his shower, grabbed a towel and exited the bathroom, using the towel to dry his shoulders.

As he wandered towards the kitchen for a beer his hair began to drip cold water down his neck. Jack switched to drying his hair.

Consequently, when he entered the kitchen the towel was covering his face and he didn't see Sam nearly choke on her beer.

Not looking where he was going, Jack walked to the fridge, opened it, and grabbed a beer. Then he turned around. Then he moved the towel from his face.

"Fucking hell! Carter!" He yelled, hastily relocating the towel to cover an area in distinct need of cover. "What the hell are you doing in my kitchen!"

Sam's mind was still too full of what she'd just seen to formulate an answer beyond, "I uh… I came to… see you."

"Well you did that all right!" Jack's anger from earlier that day was only compounded by his freaking out now. "Ever hear of knocking?"

"I did." Sam managed. '_Don't stare. Don't stare. Don't stare. Don't-'_

"Carter, are you _staring_ at me?" Jack asked, glaring.

Sam ignored him and said, "No one answered."

"Did it occur to you that there might be a reason for that?" Jack asked, deeply sarcastic.

"I… uh… I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk to you." Sam stuttered.

"Well you know how good I am at that," Jack said, adding, "Can I at least get dressed first, or is there something you _didn't _see?"

Her still mind full of images of a naked, fresh-from-the-shower Jack O'Neill, Sam could only nod.

Jack turned to exit the kitchen. "Make yourself at home," he sneered.

Sam walked into the den, taking a seat on the couch. Most of her brain was desperately seeking what she wanted to say to him. The other part was still in shock, '_He was naked! I saw him naked. OhMyGOD! '_

Sam clamped down on the rogue brain cells, before they could drive her to distraction.

It was obvious that Jack was still very, very angry. She wondered if he'd listen to her or just yell and throw her out.

The last time she'd felt this uncomfortable was when she'd come here to talk to him, just after he stuck his head in the repository of the Ancients.

'_Oh, god. It's almost a year later, and I still don't know what to say.'_ She thought shaking her head.

"What?" Jack asked, making her jump. She hadn't heard him return.

"Oh! Nothing." She said, still stammering for all she was worth.

Jack had dressed. '_Thank God!'_ She thought. Then replaced that thought with an internal groan. He looked too good. He was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. He had a beer in his hand. He didn't offer her another one.

Taking a seat opposite her, he said, "What d'you want, Carter?"

"Firstly, I wanted to thank you," she began.

"For what?"

"For coming to get Daniel and me, for what you did for me in the cell,"

"That's what friends are for." He said. The tone of his voice making it clear he was repeating what he'd heard in her memories.

'_So he **was** listening'_, she thought. "Well… thank you." She finished lamely.

"Anything else, Colonel?"

"I wanted to apologise." She said.

"What for?" He asked.

"You want a list?" She asked. He didn't smile. His eyes remained black and angry.

She wondered if it was something he'd learned in Special Ops, or if he'd always been this inscrutable. Then she realised she knew. She'd seen it in his memories from when he was a child. He'd always been this way.

"I wanted to apologise for… for what Pete did." She said, afraid to meet his eyes.

"Why? You didn't do it."

"He did that to you because of me. I should have seen it coming. I should have…"

"Stop." Jack ordered. "What?"

"Just before Pete came to your room, I… I broke up with him and he thought you were the reason. So, I wanted to say I was –"

"Why would he think that?" Jack asked.

Sam's mind was racing now. "What?"

"Why would he think that?" Jack repeated. His tone hadn't changed since she arrived. He was still mad as hell.

Sam paused before answering. "Because," she finally said, mentally kicking herself. '_Oh yeah, Sam. Really using that famous brain now. '_

"Because..?" Jack repeated.

'_Damn you for making this difficult'_, Sam thought before saying, "Because I care about you," in a small voice.

"You care about me?" Jack sneered.

"A lot more than I'm supposed to," Sam said, meeting his eyes briefly.

Then her courage completely failed her. Her brain started screaming '_Retreat! Retreat!'_

Quickly, she dragged his dogtags out of her pocket, throwing them on the table. 

Then she bolted for the door.

Her hand was on the handle when Jack's hand slammed into the door, holding it shut.

"Escaping, Carter?" He asked.

She could feel his breath on the back of her neck; feel his presence just behind her. Unable to concentrate, she just nodded.

"What, you're just gonna say all that and run away?"

She nodded again.

"Why?"

This confused her. "Why what?"

"Why say all that now?" He asked.

"Because I needed you to know."

"Well, that's selfish of you." He said.

Sam was suddenly outraged. She spun beneath his arm, turning to face him. "_Selfish_?"

"Yep." He said, glaring down at her.

"Do you have any idea how difficult this is for me?" She asked, him, anger flaming her cheeks.

"Nope." He said.

Sam abruptly realised how close he was.

"Don't care either." He added.

"Fuck you, sir!" She said, before she could stop herself.

He grinned at that. A fully fledged O'Neill shit-eating grin. "Samantha, I've got you pressed up against a door, you're gonna call me _sir_?" He sounded genuinely amused.

His amusement made her even angrier. "I could call you something else, you arrogant, self-centred -"

His eyes narrowed. Before she could stop him, he was kissing her. Then she didn't want to stop him.

Then, all too suddenly, he backed away.

"Wha - ?" Sam asked, her lips were throbbing from the kiss.

"I'm sorry, Carter. Shouldn't have done that." Jack was breathing heavily.

She reached for him, but he twisted away from her.

"Don't do this." She pleaded, her voice quiet.

"Carter I just had to basically relive my entire life. Forgive me if I'm not too rational right now."

"Come here." She said.

"You might wanna think about this-" Jack began.

She cut him off. "I'm tired of thinking about this!" He looked shocked at her outburst. "I'm sick of _thinking_ about this, of _needing_ this! I want to _do_ this!" She grabbed him and yanked him towards her, kissing him fiercely.

As her mouth moved to his neck, Jack said, "This is wrong."

"I know."

"You think we should stop?" He asked, sliding his hands under her top.

She had his t-shirt over his head in what had to be record time. "No." She said, kissing him again. When her hands strayed towards his fly Jack felt he should step in.

"Uh… Carter? Bedroom, Carter?"

She giggled. "You've got me pressed up against a door, and you're gonna call me _Carter?_"

Jack growled, grabbed her and roughly shoved her in the direction of his bedroom.

Half-way there the same idea struck both of them simultaneously. Jack pushed Sam against the wall once more, yanking her shirt over her head. Sam's hands flew to his fly.

They didn't make it to the bedroom.

When they finally came back to themselves, Jack was supporting Sam, holding her against the wall. Her legs were wrapped around his waist.

Jack began to laugh.

"What?" Sam asked, staring at him as if he'd finally lost it.

"Eight years," he finally managed, helping her stand, "and we end up against a wall in my house." He continued laughing, leading her to his bedroom.

This time they took their time.

Sam awoke with a start, immediately realising she was alone. '_Alone in Jack O'Neill's bed. Hmm…'_

Glancing at the clock on the nightstand she saw it was three AM. She'd only slept an hour and a half. '_Huh_,' she thought,_ 'long enough for him to sneak off_.'

She pushed the duvet back, shivering in the cold air. Scanning his bedroom she spotted one of his shirts thrown across a chair. She pulled it over her head and left the room to find him.

She finally located him in the living room. He'd pulled his jeans on before leaving the room, his silver hair, as always, was sticking up in all directions. He stood facing the patio doors, looking out at the darkened garden.

He sensed her presence before she could speak.

"You should be sleeping, you're tired."

She snorted at that. "And you're not?"

He didn't turn around to face her, but she could see him watching her in his reflection. "Yeah," was all he said.

She walked across the room and put her arms around him, holding him from behind. "So… what gives?"

"_What gives_?" He repeated. "You sound like me."

"That's a bad thing?" She asked.

"Probably."

"So…?" She asked again.

"Couldn't sleep. Didn't want to disturb you so I came in here."

"Bad dreams?" She asked, knowing how personal the question was and wondering if he would answer.

"No."

"What then?"

"This… what we've done."

She stepped back from him and put her hand on his shoulder to turn him towards her. Reluctantly he complied. "Jack?" She asked, hating the trepidation she could hear in her own voice. She noticed he was wearing his tags again. "You regret this?"

"God no!" He scrubbed a hand through his already mussed hair. "It's just… you have so much more to lose from this than I do, and less to gain. It's not exactly fair…" He trailed off, possibly because he saw the anger in her eyes.

"How can you say that? How can you even _think _it?" He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off. "You know how I feel about you. You _know_."

"Oh come on. This isn't exactly a fair trade off is it?"

"What do you mean?" She asked obstinately.

"You know what I mean." Unexpectedly his voice was quiet.

"Tell me anyway." She said, imitating him.

"C'mon, I get a smart, beautiful woman and you get what? A grey-haired, grouchy old guy. Not fair."

"Shut up."

He was taken aback by her words and the quiet command in her tone. Momentarily thrown off balance, he was silent.

"If I ever hear you say that again, I swear to God I'll shoot you." She said.

Finally he smiled slightly. "Okay, now you definitely sound like me. C'mere." He pulled her against him.

"Okay… JJ." She said, smirking against his chest.

He groaned. "Be careful! I'm still mad at you guys for watchin' that stuff." He was only half-joking; she could hear it in his tone.

"Well, it's like Daniel said, how else were we ever gonna find anything out about you?"

"I s'pose." He conceded. Then, "Don't call me JJ, or _I_ will shoot _you_." He threatened, looking down at her.

They held each other in silence for a while.

"So what are we gonna do?" Jack asked.

"About what?" She asked.

"Work."

"Oh… that. Nothing."

He pushed her away slightly so he could look at her better. "_That's _your great plan? Nothing? Even _I_ know that's not gonna work. C'mon, Sam, you're supposed to be the smart one here."

"Ah, yes, but you're the great military mind." She teased.

"Cut the crap, Carter. We can't just do nothing."

"Sure we can." She replied. "Look, if the Air Force wants us it'll fight to keep us."

"And if it doesn't want us?"

"Screw 'em."

"Definitely spending too much time around me." Jack muttered.

"I wouldn't worry about them not wanting us." She said, running her fingers over his chest.

"Why not?"

"Well, they need you to run the SGC. And they need me to lead SG-1 and keep the gate working. See?" She sounded thoroughly pleased with herself.

"That's it? That's the plan?"

"Elegant in its simplicity." She said, remembering something he'd said a long time ago. "Now, can we go back to bed, _please_?"

"Was that begging, Colonel Carter?" Jack asked, playfully.

"Yes, sir!" She said, grinning.

"Sweet." Jack said.

At some point in the night Sam woke up in a cold sweat, a muffled scream escaping her lips.

She sat bolt upright and stared around madly, unsure of where she was.

Jack reached up and pulled her back down to him, holding her against him.

"Its okay, Sam. Shhh." He stroked her back gently until she quieted.

When she was calm again he asked, "What was it?" His voice sounded sleepy.

"Just a bad dream. A very bad dream." She said.

There was silence for a moment, then: "Jack?"

"Mm?"

"You and Janet acted like you never met before, like you weren't friends, why?"

"Cos we weren't." He replied, sleepily.

"Because of what she asked you to do?"

"Yeah. I probably shoulda done it, I just couldn't."

"Janet understood, though."

"Yeah. She got it."

They were quiet for a moment, then Sam said, "Jack?"

"Yes?"

"Do you ever speak to your family?"

"I haven't spoken to my parents since I left home. But I called Joe, my brother, after Charlie died."

"You should call them."

"Maybe." He paused, "You done interrogating me for tonight?"

"Yeah." She said, sounding tired.

"Good." Jack closed his eyes, ready for sleep.

"For tonight." Sam muttered, closing her eyes. "Tomorrow we talk about the time loops."

Jack groaned.


	9. The Regs

Chapter Nine

Jack awoke the next morning to the sound of loud knocking on his front door.

"Go 'way." He grouched, going back to sleep.

"Jack?" Sam said, sleepily.

"Mm?"

"Go see who it is."

Jack leaned up slightly, squinting at the bedside clock. Unusually, he had slept late. It was ten AM.

"No." He said.

There was a particularly loud knock.

"_Go_."

"Fine." Disentangling himself from Sam, Jack swung his legs out of the bed and onto the floor. He stood and stretched, looking around the room until he located his jeans and t-shirt.

As he padded down the hallway he heard the shower start up.

Reaching the door he yanked it open, only to be confronted by General George Hammond and former General Jacob Carter.

'_Oh, **crap**_,' Jack thought. Out loud he said, "George, Jacob! Good to see you! I'd invite you in but…"

Hammond and Jacob barged past him, as only senior Generals can barge.

"Come right on in." Jack said after they had marched into his living room, sweeping his hand in the direction they had already taken.

He followed them in, only to be greeted by death glares from both Generals.

"You wanna explain why my daughter's car is outside?" Jacob demanded.

"Is it?" Jack looked outside, pretending to be surprised. "Maybe Thor put it there? You know those Asgard, always-"

"Jack? Who was it?" Sam's voice came from down the hall.

"Oh crap." Jack actually said it aloud this time, hiding his head in his hands. He was _so_ not gonna survive this. "Uh… it's General Hammond… and your dad." He called back. '_Huh, let her share in the misery.'_

From down the hall he heard, "Oh _crap_."

"Yep, that about sums it up." He muttered.

"General O'Neill, do you mean to tell me you're having a _relationship_ with an officer under your command?" Hammond asked sternly.

"Well, sir… I… um…"

"Yes, sir." Sam had walked in and stood beside Jack. She was wearing her jeans under a t-shirt that was miles too large, obviously Jack's. Her hair was wet from her super-fast shower.

He jumped slightly, turned to Sam. "I am?" he asked, smiling slightly. She glared. He turned back to Hammond and Jacob. "I am." He said firmly.

Jacob stepped forward. Jack quickly ducked behind Sam.

Suddenly, Jack's front door burst open. Daniel and Teal'c tumbled through.

"Jack! Jack!"

"O'Neill!"

"General Hammond-" Daniel began, only to stop at the sight of the General himself.

"Is here, Daniel." Jack said. "But thanks for the heads up." He added sarcastically.

He turned back to face Jacob. "I believe you were about to tear me limb from limb?"

"Did either of you even _think _about the regs?" Jacob yelled.

"We… thought about thinking about them." Jack said.

Sam nudged him in the ribs, hard. "Yes, dad, we thought about them. For eight years."

Jacob looked at his daughter, seemingly too angry to speak.

"What she said." Jack said, ducking behind Sam again.

Suddenly, both Generals began to laugh. A loud noise made Jack and Sam turn. Behind them, Daniel and Teal'c were also laughing, leaning on one another for support.

"Well I'm glad this is funny." Jack muttered.

"Here." Hammond said, holding something out to them.

Sam took it and looked at it. "It's a letter. From the White House."

The other four stopped laughing. Teal'c and Daniel joined the others in the living room. They all watched Jack and Sam.

"Open it." Jack said.

"No."

"What?"

"It might be bad."

"Coward." He said, snatching the letter from her.

He tore it open and scanned through it, holding it low so Sam could read it too.

When they finished slow smiles spread across their faces.

"We… we've been given presidential permission?" Sam asked.

General Hammond nodded. "Jacob and I spoke to him last night. The president believes that we owe you both _something_."

"He does?" Jack was grinning.

"Yeah, something about saving the world a coupla times, services to humankind, you know." Jacob said, smiling.

"Sweet." Jack said.

Jacob looked at his daughter, concern clouding his features. "You okay, Sammie?"

Jack looked down at Sam. She was crying. "Hey… what's up?"

"I'm so… it's so…" Sam gave up trying to speak and flung herself at her dad, hugging him fiercely. "Thank you! Thank you so much!" She said, lunging at General Hammond and hugging him.

Jack grinned and looked down at his feet. Teal'c came over and placed a hand on his shoulder. Jack looked up at him.

"O'Neill, I wish you the utmost happiness." The Jaffa said seriously.

"Yeah, Jack," Daniel interjected. "God knows you deserve it, you miserable son-of-a-"

"Thanks Daniel." Jack said, pulling his friend into a hug that surprised them both.

As Daniel stepped aside, Jacob stepped forward.

"Jack."

"Jake?"

"Take care of her, or you'll have to deal with me…" he paused, his gaze internalising for a moment, "… and Selmak."

"Carter can take care of herself." Jack said.

"_Carter_?" Sam repeated.

"Old habits." Jack replied.

"Yes, sir." She smirked. Jack grinned back.

"Right," he said, clapping his hands. "Who's up for barbecue for lunch?"

"Sounds great, Jack." General Hammond said.

"I'm gonna go change first." Sam said. "And Cassie's coming this morning. I'll bring her back with me."

Jack nodded and she kissed him before scooping up her car keys and moving towards the front door. "See you in a bit."

"I'll come with you, Sam." Jacob said, walking after his daughter.

After the door closed Daniel said, "Jack, quit grinning."

"Can't, sorry." Jack said. "You and Teal'c wanna go pick up some stuff for the barbecue?"

"Sure."

Jack cast his eyes around his living room, looking for his wallet. He found it and handed Daniel some money.

"Grab some beer too." He said. Daniel nodded, then, with a final smile at Jack, left the house, followed by Teal'c.

Once they had gone, Jack turned to General Hammond and said, "Thank you, sir."

General Hammond was touched by the sincerity in Jack's voice. "You deserve it, both of you."

"Thank you anyway."

"Jack, I've known about the… feelings between yourself and Colonel Carter for some time." Jack opened his mouth to say something, but Hammond held up a hand. "Neither of you ever acted any differently towards one another because of those feelings. I'm only sorry this couldn't have been done sooner, son."

Jack grinned. "So, what do I owe you and Jacob for this?"

Hammond grinned back. "Well, Jacob wants you to make Sam happy."

"And you?"

"I want the biggest steak from your barbecue." Hammond said. Jack laughed. Hammond turned serious. "I want you to make each other happy."

Jack smiled gently. "Thank you, George." He said again.

Both men stood silently for a moment.

"So, what do we do, while we're waiting for them?" General Hammond asked.

"You can make yourself at home, I'm headed for the shower and clean clothes." Jack replied.

"I think I'll take a nap out there," Hammond said, gesturing towards Jack's backyard, bathed in bright, warm sunshine. "Late night."

Jack nodded and wandered off towards the bathroom.

An hour later Jack was in his kitchen, fixing a salad that he personally had no intention of eating. George Hammond was napping out on the deck.

Jack heard the front door open, then close. The sound was quiet, as if the person was trying to make no sound. He put the salad things down and walked into the living room. There was no one there.

"Odd." Jack said, narrowing his eyes.

"Turn around, O'Neill." The voice came from behind Jack.

"Oh, crap. Hi Shanahan." Jack said, turning slowly.

Pete Shanahan stood behind him, in the centre of the living room. He was aiming a gun at Jack's head.

"Hands in the air."

Jack did as he was asked.

"Y'know, General Hammond's out the back there." He said, nodding towards his back yard.

"I doubt he's armed."

Jack nodded his agreement "How do you know _I'm _not?"

"In your own house?"

"Good point."

"Anyway, I kind of doubted that you'd have a loaded weapon just lying around in your house after what happened to your kid. I read your file, O'Neill. Went into your office and read it right under Hammond's nose." Shanahan seemed obscenely pleased with himself.

Jack didn't reply. He did actually have a loaded weapon, but it wasn't just 'lying around'.

"Got nothing to say? Maybe I should tell Sam what sort of things you used to do for a living. She wouldn't like you so much then."

"Carter knows." Jack replied.

"Yeah. You're all in it together, aren't you?" Shanahan sneered.

At that moment, two things happened.

Firstly, General Hammond came in from the yard.

"Stay where you are, General. I don't want to have to shoot you too." Shanahan said.

For his part, George looked to Jack, who nodded slightly.

Second, the front door opened again. Sam, Cassie and Jacob walked through, followed by Daniel and Teal'c, who they had obviously met up with on the driveway.

"Uh, what's goin' on Jack?" Daniel asked, voicing all their thoughts.

"Get in the kitchen, all of you." Shanahan said.

"O'Neill, do you wish me to dispatch this… human?" Teal'c asked.

"Nah. As soon as you move, he'll just shoot me, won't ya, Shanahan?"

Shanahan nodded.

Everyone moved to the kitchen, watching Jack and Shanahan through the half-wall.

"What do you want, Shanahan?" Jack asked.

"You took what I want, O'Neill."

"Sam." Jack said.

"Yeah, her. Now, I'm gonna kill you."

"Go ahead." Jack said.

"Jack!" Chorused Daniel, Sam, Jacob, Hammond and Cassie.

Teal'c said nothing.

"What?" Shanahan said, thinking he hadn't heard right.

"I said, go ahead."

"You want me to kill you?"

"Not particularly. I mean I did have plans…"

"Then why did you say that?" Shanahan was fast coming apart.

Jack lowered his hands.

"Get your hands up!"

Jack ignored Shanahan. "Well, Pete… I can call you Pete, can't I?"

Shanahan shook his head.

Jack went on. "Well, Pete, you're so pissed right now, I doubt you would hit anything vital, and if you shoot me, I can kill you outright and call it self-defence. _And_ I've got six witnesses." Shanahan seemed to consider this for the first time. "Yeah," Jack said, watching him closely, "shoulda come when I was alone, huh?"

Without warning, Shanahan fired at Jack. A split second later Shanahan was lying on the floor of the living room, pinned by Jack, who was miraculously unharmed.

Shanahan struggled, and tried to turn the gun to aim it at O'Neill. Jack grabbed it out of his hand. "Don't _fuck_ with me, Shanahan." Jack growled, holding the larger man still. "Sorry about the language, Cass."

Cassie was grinning. "Kick his ass, Jack!"

Jack shook his head and stood. "Get up."

Shanahan stood, shakily.

"_Walk away_." Jack ordered, all the anger his friends had seen in him yesterday in every syllable.

Shanahan turned to walk out the door. Suddenly he stopped, bent to his ankle and came back up with a small pistol in his hand. He aimed it at Jack.

"Don't!" Jack said, hearing Sam say it at the same time.

"What've I got to lose?" Shanahan replied. His finger began to squeeze the trigger.

Jack fired. He hit Shanahan in the shoulder.

Shanahan dropped the gun. Jack moved over and kicked it away, then he applied pressure to the wound.

"Carter, call the base. Have them send medics and a coupla SF's." He ordered, looking over his shoulder.

Sam complied.

When the SF's and medics arrived, Jack had a field dressing on Shanahan's wound, and had tied his wrists with some duct tape.

"General?" An SF asked.

"Escort this man back to the base. See that he gets medical attention, then throw him in a holding cell. I'll deal with him on Monday."

The SF looked at Jack, it was Thursday.

"Just do it, Airman." Jack said tiredly.

"Yessir. Uh... Sir?"

"Yes?"

"I heard a rumour you quit, I'd just like to say, sir, that I think you should come back. Your place is at the SGC."

Jack smiled at the SF's forwardness. "I'll see you on Monday, Airman."

The SF grinned broadly. "Yessir!" He saluted. Then he followed the medics as they took Shanahan out on a stretcher.

Jack closed his front door behind them and turned to his friends.

"So," he said, "lunch?"


	10. BBQ

Chapter Ten

It was late evening now. Everyone had eaten their fill. Jacob Carter and George Hammond were in deep conversation about 'The good old days.' Teal'c and Cassie were playing a game on Jack's PS2. Daniel had long since passed out from drinking too much beer. He'd had two.

Sam was looking around the house for Jack, who had disappeared.

Finally an idea struck her. She clambered up the ladder to the roof. Jack was sitting in his chair, drinking a beer.

"Jack?"

"Hey," he said turning.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I had to escape, your dad's kinda..." he didn't finish, but Sam knew what he meant.

Sam laughed and came to sit next to him. "He loves you really." She reassured him.

Jack snorted. "You okay?"

"Oh yeah!" Sam said, highly satisfied. She grinned at Jack, then noticing that his smile was faint, she said, "What's wrong?"

"Nothin' I just can't believe… this." He said, gesturing between them.

"I know. I mean, this is you and me, Jack and Sam. Not some virus induced thing, not Jonah and Thera. Us."

Jack smiled and took her hand. "Yeah… about that," he paused, "we should talk."

"_You_want to talk?" Sam asked, incredulous.

"Yeah. When we were in the cell, I accidentally triggered a memory. You were on the _Prometheus _and…"

"I know which one you mean," Sam interrupted. "I was hallucinating."

"Yeah, but…"

"It was my subconscious trying to tell me something. My dad appeared and basically said I needed to let go of the thing that was stopping me from loving someone. I thought he… _I _meant you. I was delusional."

Jack laughed at that. "You're sure this is what you want, Sam?" He asked.

"You're not?" She countered.

"For me: yeah. For you?"

"Jack, I love you. I have loved you for eight years. I think I'm pretty sure this is what I want."

Jack grinned. "Eight years?"

She hit him gently on the arm. "Something about you liking women?" He chuckled. "And the dress blues. Can't resist."

"Sam, you wear dress blues. _General Hammond_ wears dress blues. Your _dad _wears dress blues." Jack pointed out.

"Not like you do."

Jack snorted at that. Sam snuggled against his shoulder. "What about you?" She asked.

He snorted, "I think it was, '_I'd like to think I've been preparing for this my whole life_,'" he said. "No seriously, the way you faced down Kawalsky and Ferretti." He said. "I thought the 'reproductive organs' comment was a bit strong though." He added.

Sam laughed. "You okay?"

"Better than okay." He replied, turning to kiss her.

They heard his house phone ringing. Jack groaned.

Sam said, "Ignore it."

This wasn't to be, however. From below they heard the sound of a very loud, very drunk, and somehow awakened Dr Daniel Jackson, "JJ! JJ! Phone!"

"I hate him." Jack said, rising to climb down the ladder.

Sam smiled as she watched over the railing as Jack snatched the ringing phone from Daniel, snarling, "Don't call me JJ, Danny!"

Daniel gave an unbelievably girlish giggle and was promptly led to a chair by Teal'c.

"O'Neill." Jack answered the phone. He was silent for a moment, then, "How?" Silence. "When?" More silence. "He'll be long gone by now. Inform the authorities and I'll deal with it tomorrow. O'Neill out."

Sam climbed down the ladder. "Jack?"

"That was the base. Apparently the Airmen that were here earlier have just got back. Shanahan's escaped."

Jacob and George stood up so fast their chairs fell over behind them.

"What d'you mean he's escaped?" Sam asked.

"Apparently he overpowered the Airmen that rode in the ambulance with him. Knocked them and the medics out. Took one of their sidearms."

"Damn." Daniel muttered, suddenly sober.

"Yeah." Jack agreed.

"O'Neill, we must endeavour to find PeteShanahan-" Teal'c began.

"No." Sam said. They all stared at her. "He won't come back. Its over."

"Sam, in all likelihood he's on his way here now." Jacob pointed out.

"I'm with dad on this one, Sam." Jack said. The others nodded.

"Sam, the guy's _nuts_." Cassie said.

"You don't know him like I do." Sam said. "He won't come back."

"No, we don't." Jack said. "But even so, I'd feel better if you had someone with you when you're at home."

"Why don't I just stay here?" Sam asked.

Jack smiled, surprised. "You want to?"

"Yeah sure, you betcha." Sam grinned.

"Let me make a call," Hammond said, "I'll get someone on to finding him."

Jack nodded and handed him the phone.

Jacob looked at his watch. "Sammie, I gotta go."

"Do you have to?" She asked, walking over to him.

"Yeah, but I'll be back soon," Jacob said softly. Then, louder, he added, "Wouldn't want to miss the wedding."

Jack looked panicked, "Wedding?" He turned Cassie, asking her, "What wedding?"

Jacob grinned at Sam, "I'll ride with George back to the base."

"I will escort DanielJackson home." Teal'c said.

"I'm _fine _Teal'c." Daniel slurred.

"You are in no condition to drive, DanielJackson."

"I'll go with them." Cassie said, nodding her head in Daniel and Teal'c's direction.

"Cass, you sure?" Jack asked, "Plenty of room here, kid."

"Yeah, you two should have some alone time." Cassie and Daniel sniggered at this. Sam jabbed Cassie in the ribs with an index finger.

"We'll go shopping tomorrow, okay Sam?" Cassie pleaded.

"Sure, Cass."

Teal'c and Cassie supported Daniel as they made their way to Teal'c's truck.

George walked back out onto the decking. "They're looking." He said in response to the looks he was met by. "They'll call you if they find him." He said to Jack. George turned to Jacob, "Jacob, you need a ride back to the mountain?"

Jacob nodded, and, with a final hug for Sam and mock-glare at Jack, followed George round to the front of the house.

Jack caught Sam staring at him, "What?"

She grinned and walked into the house, heading for the bedroom.

Jack followed her, leaving the scattered glasses and beer bottles for the morning.


	11. Loose Ends

Chapter Eleven

When Sam awoke the next morning Jack was gone. Again.

'_What is with that man?' _She wondered sleepily, crawling out of his bed and scanning the room for some sort of clothing.

Unfortunately, she and Jack hadn't made it to the bedroom fully clothed last night, having shed their clothes somewhere in the vicinity of the living room.

She decided that now was as good a time as any to go through Jack's stuff. Rationalising the invasion of his privacy by telling herself she'd already seen his life, she might as well have a look through his underwear.

Having located an old Air Force Academy t-shirt of Jack's Sam made her way out of the bedroom. Once she reached the hallway that led to the living room she could hear Jack's voice.

"Yeah… uh huh… no… I'll be there… I'm not sure… why?"

Sam walked into the living room to see Jack standing with his back to her. He was holding his cellphone to his ear and talking into it in a low voice. Knowing he wouldn't have called anyone this early, she wondered how it had woken him and not her, and then remembered that offworld he was always the first to awake at any sound. She figured his senses must be on high alert now that Pete had escaped.

Jack looked delicious to Sam. He was wearing jeans again, probably the same pair he'd worn the past two days, and had rushed out of the bedroom without a t-shirt. His hair was mussed, and his constant running his hand through it wasn't improving the situation.

Jack was still talking into the phone. Sam gave in to temptation and crossed the room to him. As soon as she moved Jack spun to face her. His features harsh. They softened once he saw who she was.

His features softened even further when he saw what she was wearing. His jaw dropped open and he stopped talking. On the other end of the line she could hear Walter's voice, "General O'Neill? Sir?"

Sam nodded to the phone in his hand and Jack raised it once more to his ear, "Uh… yeah. I'll be there soon. In an hour." He said, not taking his eyes off Sam, "Maybe two. O'Neill out." He snapped the phone shut.

"Where'd you find that?" He asked.

"Laying around." She replied.

"Laying around, huh? C'mere."

Sam went willingly into his arms. "That the base?"

"Yeah. We have to go in." he said.

Sam leant back to look up at him. "We?"

"I'm not leaving you here." He told her.

Sam shook her head. "I promised Cassie I'd take her out." She said.

"Sam…" Jack began.

"I'm going, Jack. You can't stop me." Sam's tone softened, "We'll be fine."

Jack nodded, sulkily. "I could order you, y'know." He said.

She laughed and walked away.

"Where're you going?" Jack asked.

"Shower." She said.

Sam shed the t-shirt in the bathroom and stepped under the hot water.

Suddenly the shower door opened and Jack stepped in.

"Jack! What are you doing?" She asked, laughing.

"Conserving water." He answered.

"Quite the environmentalist aren't you? You'll be telling me you recycle your beer bottles next."

Jack laughed and reached for the shower gel.

Sam was struggling to keep up with Cassie as the young woman marched around the mall.

"Sam, what's with you today?"

Sam yawned, "Just a bit tired, Cass." Sam replied.

"Late night, huh?" Cassie asked cheekily. "Mom would be proud."

"Cass!" Sam said, scandalised.

Cassie merely shrugged and moved on into the next shop.

When General O'Neill arrived at Cheyenne Mountain he was greeted by a grinning SF at the security post.

"Something wrong Airman?" Jack asked, as he flashed his ID.

"No sir!" The Airman seemed extremely happy about something. Jack shrugged and walked to the elevator.

Everyone he met en route to his office was grinning madly at him, and no one asked him to sign anything.

When he spotted Sly Siler and Airman Wood grinning at him from a corner in one of the corridors Jack finally yelled, "Okay! What?"

The sergeant and airman said nothing in response, just kept grinning. Jack was about to interrogate them further when Daniel appeared.

"Daniel!" Jack yelled exuberantly in greeting.

"Jack, shh." Daniel looked tired.

"Dear me, Dr Jackson," Jack said, clapping his friend heartily on the back, "hangover?"

"Jack!" Daniel yelled, then groaned when he hurt his own head. "Yeah, kinda." He smiled weakly.

They had reached Jack's office and entered. Jack sat down heavily in his chair. "So, wanna explain why the entire base look like they're on happy pills this morning?" He asked Daniel, who had taken a seat opposite him.

"Uh… that." Daniel said evasively.

"Daniel?" Jack asked.

"They kinda heard about… you and Sam." Daniel said.

Unexpectedly the O'Neill temper didn't explode. "And this makes them… happy?" He asked.

"Yeah. Well most of them. Siler and Walter are probably happier than most." Daniel said, rubbing his sore head.

"Why?"

"They had a book running on you-" Daniel stopped, realising what Jack had tricked his hangover-addled brain into admitting.

"Nice." Jack said. "You get anything?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I had you down as retiring first. Teal'c made out okay, though."

Jack laughed, "Sorry Danny."

"That's okay," Daniel said, smirking, "JJ."

"Daniel…" Jack warned.

"Why did you never mention your family?" Daniel asked.

Jack frowned at his friend's abrupt gear change. "We don't talk anymore."

"I can't imagine having a family and not wanting to talk to them." Daniel said.

"You saw what my father's like." Jack pointed out.

"Yeah… I guess. You don't think maybe you'd get along now?"

"Nah, I haven't changed and neither has he." Jack dismissed the subject. "Right now we should concentrate on finding Shanahan."

"Well, no one heard anything overnight, it's like he just… vanished. General Hammond's gone back to Washington to see about getting more people on the case…"

"I know, we spoke this morning. I'd feel better if we were doing something too."

"Me too. I hate the idea of that-" Daniel was clearly very angry with Shanahan.

"Whoa, Daniel. You okay?" Jack was puzzled with Daniel's reaction.

"Yeah, it's just the way he treated Sam and Cassie. Then he tries to shoot you." Daniel said, still angry.

"Daniel, _lots _of people try to shoot me." Jack reminded his friend.

"What if he'd succeeded? What if we'd lost you? It would have destroyed Sam, Jack."

"I know." Jack said softly. Last night, when she thought he was asleep, Jack had heard Sam crying quietly.

_/"Hey, what's up?" He'd asked._   
"_It's just… what if Pete had shot you? You'd be dead because of me." She'd said between silent sobs._

"_He missed, Sam. We're still here." He'd soothed._

"_I don't think I could stand to lose you, Jack, not now."_

"_You won't. I promise."/_

"Yeah, just be careful." Daniel was saying, "I don't want to be the one that has to tell Sam you got yourself killed, and neither does Teal'c."

"Point taken." Jack said. "Where is Teal'c, anyway?"

"Commissary?" Daniel suggested, looking at his watch.

"Let's go. You look like you need a coffee."

The men stood and exited the office. "But I swear…" Jack said, "The next person that gives me that stupid smile…"

Sam had finally managed to drag Cassie into a coffee shop. The teenager had just gone to the ladies when:

"Hey Sam!" Shanahan sat down opposite Sam.

"Pete!"

"Uh-uh. Don't even think about screaming or anything like that. I'll shoot you _and _the alien kid."

"What do you want?"

"Come with me."

"You're out of your mind!"

"Maybe. Come _on_ Sam." He took her hand and yanked her roughly to her feet.

"No!" She hissed.

"If we're still here when the kid gets back, I'll shoot her." Shanahan said.

"You wouldn't dare. This is a public place."

"Wanna stick around and find out?"

Sam allowed Shanahan to lead her out of the crowded coffee room.

When Cassie got back to the table, moments later, she found Sam gone, their shopping bags were still leaning against the table legs and Sam's coffee was half-drunk.

She looked around, then pulled out her phone and hit the speed dial.

When the phone was answered she said, panicked, "Put me through to General O'Neill, please, tell him it's Cassandra Fraiser."

The woman on the SGC switchboard was new, and took pride in her job. She wasn't going to let just anyone speak to the General, he was a busy man.

Cassie lost it, "Get Jack O'Neill on the line now!" She yelled, her tone a combination of her mother's doctor voice and Jack's command tone. The other people in the coffee shop looked around at her. "Tell him Sam Carter's just disappeared."

Jack and Daniel jumped out Teal'c's truck before it stopped moving. Several airmen jumped out of the van that had been following and stood back, in case the General wanted anything. Cassie ran towards Daniel and Jack. She reached Jack and practically flung herself into his arms.

"She was just gone, Jack, just _gone_."

"Its okay, kid. We'll find her." Jack wished he felt as confident as he sounded. Teal'c joined them.

"How long was Sam out of your sight for, Cassie?" Daniel asked, once Cassie had released Jack.

"Two or three minutes. I went to the bathroom. God, I shouldn't have left her on her own!"

"Not your fault Cass." Jack said. His cellphone rang. He flipped it open, "O'Neill."

Once Pete had gotten her to the car park, and safely away from Cassie, Sam had begun to struggle. She had managed to give him a black eye before Pete finally brought out the nine-millimetre he had stolen and hit her with it, knocking her out.

When she awoke she was in a dimly lit room. It looked like the room had once been an office. Sam was chained to a desk. The desk was bolted to the ground. She groaned.

She heard Pete speaking from somewhere else in the place. His voice had a slight echo to it.

"Hey! O'Neill! How you doin'?" Pete sounded happy, joyful even. "Yeah… that. I know you'd probably like to shoot me about now, Jack. Can I call you Jack? … Good… Yeah, I've got her. She's right here… No she can't come to the phone. She's a little tied up, pardon the cliché! … Well gotta go… wouldn't want you tracing this now, would I? Call you later, Jack."

She heard Pete click his cellphone closed. She heard him walk into the office she was tied up in.

"Hey Sam."

"Go away."

"Sam, come on, is that anyway to speak to your fiancé?"

"You're not my fiancé anymore, Pete. Let me go and you won't get hurt." Sam said calmly.

"Oh please, O'Neill's an animal; he'll shoot me whatever happens now. You should see some of the stuff in his file! So," Pete clapped his hands together, and squatted down beside Sam, "Seeing as how I'm dead anyway, I can pretty much do what I want, Sam." He reached forward to stroke her face.

Sam turned her head away forcefully. "Get away from me." She growled.

Pete laughed and left the room. "I'll leave you to think about it for a bit, okay babe?"

Jack looked up to see Cassie, Daniel and Teal'c looking at him. "Shanahan." He growled. "He's got Carter."

Daniel noticed his friend had slipped into command mode, and with that the use of Sam's last name had resurfaced.

"Where is he?"

"If I knew that, Daniel, we'd be there." Jack snapped. Then, gentler, he said, "Sorry."

The four thought for a moment.

"Is there no way we can trace ColonelCarter?" Teal'c asked.

Both Daniel and Jack's heads snapped up. "Cellphone!" They both said.

"Cassie, did Sam have her cellphone with her?" Daniel asked.

Cassie thought a moment. "Yeah. In her skirt pocket. We were gonna catch a movie after coffee so she turned it on silent."

Jack turned and yelled "Somebody! Here! Now!" About five of their escort came running up.

"The power of a General, huh?" Daniel murmured to his friend.

"You better believe it." Jack muttered back. "Right, I want you guys ready to triangulate the position of Colonel Carter's cellphone."

"Sir, it needs to be receiving a constant signal in order for us to-"

"I know that." Jack held up his own cellphone. "That's why you're gonna call it. Let me know when you're ready." The men nodded and rushed away.

Jack looked up. While they had been talking, several local reporters had turned up, plus the police force.

Jack grabbed Cassie's hand and strode towards Teal'c's truck.

One reporter broke through the surrounding crowd of Airmen. "General O'Neill? General Jack O'Neill? Is it true it was your second in command at Cheyenne Mountain that was kidnapped? Is it true that you are having an affair with said second in command?"

Suddenly Teal'c loomed up in front of the reporter. "You will go away." He said, calmly. It was a statement of fact. Teal'c took the man's notebook and stood passively, arms crossed, until the man was led away by the airmen who escorted them.

Jack, Cassie and Daniel had climbed into the car. Teal'c followed them in and slammed the door.

"Thanks, T." Jack said tiredly.

"What do the press want with this?" Daniel asked.

"Are you kidding?" Jack said, running a hand through his hair. "AF General and his second in command?"

"You've got presidential permission."

"_They _don't know that." Jack said, nodding his head out the window.

"Yeah, but, how did they know to be here?" Cassie asked.

"PeteShanahan." Teal'c said.

Jack nodded gloomily.

There was a knock on the blacked-out window, Teal'c rolled it down.

It was one of the airmen that comprised their escort. "We're ready, sir."

Jack handed the man his phone. "Number's in there, Lieutenant."

"Yessir." The younger man said, taking the phone and walking back to the equipment van.

"You okay, Cassie?" Daniel asked the young woman, who was pale.

"Yeah, I'm just worried about Sam." She said, not sounding like the confident young woman Janet Fraiser had raised.

"Its okay, Cass. We're gonna find her." Jack said, putting his arm around her and pulling her close.

Sam was laying on the cold floor, she'd passed out again.

'_Damn_,' she thought, '_concussion_.'

Dimly she realised her skirt pocket was vibrating. She couldn't reach into her pocket to answer it, she realised.

But her phone wasn't a flip phone. If she could wriggle around enough she could hit the answer button on the leg of the desk.

Sam wriggled for all she was worth. The vibrating stopped. Sam prayed she had hit answer, rather than end.

Straining her ears she heard static on the line, due to the fact that her signal was slightly disrupted because of the building she was in. She sighed in relief. She had hit answer.

Now she only had to hope that it was someone tracing her, and not her dry cleaning lady calling about her dress uniform.

There was another urgent knock on the window of Teal'c's truck.

Teal'c rolled it down to be greeted by the same airman.

"Sir!" the young man all but yelled into the truck, "We've got a trace!"


	12. Threat Eliminated

Chapter Twelve

Sam's phone was still connected when she heard Pete walking towards the office. She tried desperately to disconnect the call, but whatever deity had been helping her out before seemed to have deserted her.

He walked over to her and knelt down beside her, just as a particularly loud static hiss came over her phone's speaker.

In the silence of the building he heard it clearly.

"What's that, Sam?" He asked, reaching for her pocket.

Sam jerked her body away, but Pete grabbed her and held her still while he put his hand into her skirt pocket and retrieved her phone.

Just as he looked at it to check the caller ID the phone call cut off.

"They hung up." He said.

Pete took a seat. "Y'know," he said conversationally, "O'Neill doesn't appear to be looking for you. Not very hard, anyway. He can't care that much for you, or he'd have found you already."

"He's looking." Sam said, but she was still weak and slightly disoriented from her concussion, and it didn't sound very convincing.

Shanahan smiled. "You think he'll still want you after this?"

"After what?" Sam asked, cursing herself for talking to him.

"After the press scandal. AF General and his subordinate, doesn't look good, does it?"

"Press scandal?" Sam asked.

Pete ignored her. "Then there's always the question of whether he'll want you after what I'm gonna do to you. What you're gonna let me do."

Teal'c was driving fast.

In the back of the truck Daniel and Cassie found themselves watching Jack.

He had been silent since they started moving, apart from urging Teal'c to drive faster.

Jack's cellphone rang. "O'Neill… Yessir… No, sir, I don't think we need… yessir. O'Neill out." Jack hung up, his head sinking into his hands. "Faster, Teal'c." The Jaffa obeyed.

When it became apparent that Jack wasn't going to say anything regarding the phone call, Daniel said, "Jack?"

"That was Hammond. He's sending a Special Ops team to 'help out'."

"And you don't sound too pleased about that."

"I'm not."

Teal'c's truck squealed to a stop outside a large disused warehouse.

"This is the place?" Daniel asked.

"It is." Teal'c replied.

Jack jumped out of the truck. "Wait here, Cass." The girl nodded.

Teal'c followed Jack out of the truck. Daniel turned to Cassie and said, "Lock the doors, okay, Cass?" She nodded.

"Daniel?" She said.

"Yeah?"

"I'm worried about Jack. I've never seen him like this before."

Daniel looked at her a moment, then said, "I'll keep an eye on him, okay?" She nodded and he climbed out after his friends.

Jack and Teal'c were standing by the van that had brought their escort there. They were gearing up, slipping on bullet-proof vests. Teal'c handed one to Daniel.

A large black van screeched to a halt next to Teal'c's truck. Five men jumped out, fully armed and geared up.

Jack's eyes narrowed.

The leader of the Special Ops team moved over to talk to Jack.

"General, sir, if you would like to stay out here, sir we will –"

"Do you know who I am?" Jack interrupted, his voice soft.

"Sir?" the man asked.

"Did General Hammond tell you who I am…" Jack paused, taking in the man's overall bearing and demeanour, "Colonel?"

"No, sir."

"I am Jack O'Neill." The man looked slightly taken aback. There was muttering amongst the Special Ops team. Jack smiled grimly. "Yeah, _that_ guy. Now you listen to me. I want _you_ to stay out here."

"But sir…" one began.

"This guy is armed and dangerous, and likely to shoot Colonel Carter as soon as anyone shows up. We're different, he knows us. He's likely to want to play with us a little bit. But you guys? Forget it. None of you are to enter that building without my say so. Are we clear?"

"Yessir." Several of them chorused.

"But, General…" The hapless Colonel began.

Jack glared at him. "Colonel. I gave you a direct order. You are either questioning my authority or my experience. Which is it?"

"Neither, sir." The colonel looked distinctly miserable.

"Good," Jack said, he turned from the colonel to address the man's team. "Now, I want you guys to take the perimeter. No one gets in or out unless I say. Got it?"

When the squad nodded affirmatively Jack said, "Move out." The Special Ops team began to move stealthily around the building.

"Those guys know you?" Daniel asked.

"Not personally." Jack said, handing him a nine-millimetre.

"Yeah but they-"

"I was Special Ops, Daniel, remember?" Jack reminded him "You saw the types of missions I did, Daniel, draw your own conclusions." Jack said.

Daniel looked at his friend's face. Jack was looking dangerously close to the man that Daniel had first met. The man who'd lost everything. Cassie was right to be worried.

Jack reached into the back of the van and retrieved three radios. He handed Daniel and Teal'c one each, hooking his own onto his belt. "Let's move out." He said and headed towards the building.

Pete cocked his head at the sound of tires squealing outside. "You think that's him?" He asked.

Sam refused to answer.

"Well, we should probably start early, just in case." Pete said. Suddenly his whole demeanour changed. He became predatory. He reached up onto the desk, bringing down a roll of duct tape. He used it to gag Sam.

Then he knelt in front of her and began to push her skirt up her legs.

Sam's eyes went wide in terror.

The windows of the warehouse were filthy, and didn't let much light through.

Once they entered the building, Jack signalled that Daniel and Teal'c should search the lower level, while he took the upper one.

There were several offices on both levels. Daniel and Teal'c moved stealthily towards those on the lower level, while Jack silently climbed the stairs.

Jack crept along the upper corridor, checking the rooms as he went.

"Quit struggling, Sam. You're only making this harder on yourself." Pete whispered.

Sam ignored him and kept moving.

Pete sighed and brought out a knife. "I didn't want to have to do it this way." He said, sadly.

Sam stopped moving. Pete smiled, thinking his threat had worked. He was wrong. Sam could sense something. '_Naquadah?'_ She thought. It was very faint, but she could feel it all the same. And it was getting closer.

Suddenly, Sam realised she could sense something else, something uniquely… '_Jack?'_ She thought, getting the feeling that always caused her to know when he entered a room.

Pete used the knife to cut away Sam's underwear. This brought her back from her thoughts with a rush. Sam thought she was going to throw up.

Just as Pete's hand went to his fly, the office door behind him burst open.

Looking into the room, Jack could only see Pete. "Up, Shanahan." He ordered.

Shanahan stood, revealing Sam, lying on the floor beyond him, cuffed to the desk, her skirt gathered around her hips. Sam wriggled upwards, forcing her skirt down. She didn't look at Jack.

For a split second, Jack took in the scene, his brain processing what Shanahan had been about to do.

Then he was on Shanahan, throwing his gun down, his brain not registering where it went.

Shanahan, who had been expecting to get shot, reacted just a little too late. He tried to bring the knife up to O'Neill's stomach, but the other man gripped his wrist and bashed his hand on the wall. Shanahan swore as the blade sliced his hand and he dropped the knife.

Shanahan pushed back against Jack, using his greater bulk to his advantage. Momentarily, Jack stumbled. Then he scooped up the knife from where it had fallen. He shoved Shanahan against the wall, bringing the knife to his throat.

"You gonna kill me, O'Neill?" Shanahan asked. "Go ahead, it's what you do best, right?" He sneered.

Jack just pushed the knife further into Shanahan's flesh. "Fuck you, Shanahan."

"Actually, Sam was just about to-"

Jack punched Shanahan, bouncing the man's head off the wall, hard. Then he returned the knife to Shanahan's throat, pressing hard enough to draw blood.

"Jack." It was a broken sound. And it came from Sam.

Jack crashed Shanahan's head into the wall once more, and the man fell to the ground, semi-conscious.

Jack bent and fished in Shanahan's coat pocket, removed the handcuff keys and turned to Sam.

He knelt down beside her and she flinched. "Hey, shh, it's me. I'm not gonna hurt you, Sam. Shh."

Jack undid the cuffs and pulled Sam into a sitting position, absently noting that his sidearm had landed close by.

Ignoring it, he turned back to Sam.

She was still not looking at him, just sitting there, numb. "Jesus, Carter." He muttered. She looked up at that, her eyes full of tears. Jack pulled her to him and held her, one hand stroking her hair.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"I let you down." Sam seemed to crumble at these words and began to sob in earnest.

"Shut up." Jack ordered, pushing her away slightly. She whimpered and tried to get close to him again. "No, Sam, look at me." She reluctantly obeyed. "You did not let me down, okay? You got that?" Sam nodded and he pulled her to him again. "I let you down." He murmured into her hair.

He felt Sam tense in his arms at the same time as he sensed movement behind him. Jack let go of Sam, standing and spinning to face Shanahan who was rising and aiming a gun at him.

As Jack's hand went to his holster, Shanahan fired. His shot hit Jack in the right arm, putting it out of commission.

Shanahan stepped forwards, raising the gun to fire at Jack again.

Then everything happened at once. Left handed, Jack threw the knife at Shanahan. The blade hit the man in the chest and stuck.

From somewhere behind him, Jack heard his sidearm fire. Shanahan stopped, blood pouring from the bullet wound in his chest. Sam fired again and again, emptying the clip. Then Shanahan fell to the ground, dead.

Jack turned to see Sam standing behind him, his sidearm in her hands. She was still shaking and crying. Unsteady through loss of blood, Jack walked towards her, taking the gun from her shaking hands and tossing it aside. Then he all but collapsed in her arms.

As they sank to the floor, Jack was dimly aware of the sound of people running along the corridor outside, calling for him and Sam. '_Daniel and Teal'c,' _he thought.

Then he remembered something. Shaking, Jack thumbed the radio in his vest pocket. "This is O'Neill. All units: stand down. Send medical team. Threat eliminated. Repeat: Threat eliminated."


	13. Can We Do This?

Chapter Thirteen

Sam woke up in the base infirmary. Judging by the soft lighting and the silence, it was night-time. Sitting by her bedside were Daniel and Teal'c.

"Hey, Sam." Daniel said softly.

"Hey." She greeted them, sitting up carefully. Her whole body felt like one huge bruise.

"What time is it?" Sam asked.

"It is twenty three hundred hours." Teal'c replied. He paused a moment then asked, "ColonelCarter, are you well?"

"I'm fine, Teal'c. Just a bit bruised." Sam made sure to inject some lightness into her voice, for her friends' sake.

"Where's J… General O'Neill?" She asked, remembering where she was.

"Jack's gone to his office."

"His arm…"

"It's fine, Sam."

"How come I was still asleep?" Sam asked.

"Dr Brightman said you were emotionally exhausted. She gave you a sedative." Daniel answered.

"How is Jack?" Sam asked quietly.

"Physically fine, like I said. Emotionally…" Daniel paused, "…he's Jack." He brightened up. "You shoulda seen him pull rank on the Special Ops guys. I thought that colonel was gonna cry when Jack told them who he was."

Sam smiled weakly at that. "And Cassie?" She asked.

"She's at my apartment. She'll call you tomorrow. She's the one that called us, when you disappeared. Gave the switchboard lady a mouthful when she wouldn't put her through to Jack's office." Sam smiled again.

There was silence between the three members of SG-1. Sam noticed Daniel and Teal'c sending each other looks.

"Guys?" She asked.

"ColonelCarter, PeteShanahan is dead." Teal'c said.

"Way to break it to her gently Teal'c." Daniel said.

"Its okay, guys."

"Really?" Daniel asked, studying her face.

"Daniel, he tried to kill us. He tried to…" Sam suddenly found herself fighting tears at the thought of what Shanahan had been about to do to her. "…hurt me," she said, adding, in a quiet voice, "He tried to take Jack away from me, and he nearly succeeded."

Daniel nodded. Sam saw Teal'c shoot him an 'I told you so' look, something he had developed over his nine years among the Tau'ri, she suspected.

"When can I go home?" Sam asked.

"That would be now."

Sam looked up to see Jack's outline in the infirmary doorway. The lights were directed away from him, so she could not see him clearly.

Jack walked into the infirmary. His arm was bandaged, but not in a sling. Shanahan's shot must not have been too bad.

"Just a scratch." Jack said, in response to her unspoken question. "I thought I told you guys to rest?" He said to Daniel and Teal'c.

"That's good, coming from you." Daniel said. Jack glared at him. "We were just going, weren't we, Teal'c?" He added hurriedly.

"Indeed." The big Jaffa inclined his head, smiling. "Good night, O'Neill, ColonelCarter." He said, exiting the infirmary.

"Night, Sam, Jack." Daniel followed Teal'c out of the room.

Jack stood for a moment. Sam realised he looked absolutely exhausted.

"Jack?" She asked.

He didn't look at her, kept staring at the floor. "You okay to go?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Get dressed, I'll come back and pick you up in five." He turned to exit the room.

"Should you be driving?" She asked his back.

He shrugged with his left shoulder and exited the room, leaving Sam on her own.

They made the drive back to Jack's place in silence. Sam noticed him wincing occasionally, and wanted to tell him to stop, and let her drive, but couldn't seem to stay awake.

The next thing she knew Jack was waking her up. They were in his driveway.

"I didn't know if you wanted to go home yet or not, so…" Jack was saying, his eyes still avoiding hers.

Sam smiled at him, weakly, hoping he saw.

Jack nodded and helped her out of the truck. Sam was a lot weaker than she thought. '_Must be shock_,' she thought dimly.

"You want anything?" Jack asked, hanging his coat up.

"Shower." Sam said.

Jack nodded and took her into the bathroom. He turned on the shower, then left, closing the door.

Sam looked after him, wondering at his behaviour. Then shed her clothes and climbed into the shower.

Sam stayed in the shower for a long time, scrubbing her skin. She wanted to get all traces of Pete and that place off her skin. She wanted to feel as happy as she had this morning.

When she finally got out of the shower she pulled on the Air Force t-shirt she'd worn that morning. She left the bathroom and made her way to the bedroom.

Jack was lying on his side on top of the covers, fully dressed, facing away from the door.

Sam climbed into the bed beside him.

They didn't speak. Sam couldn't force herself to stay awake any more. She fell asleep.

When she awoke, Jack was gone.

'_Screw this_,' Sam thought, '_he can't keep doing this to me.'_

She got up and left the bedroom. She was angry with Jack, for hiding from her, for not wanting to talk to her before and tell her what was wrong.

When she found him her anger subsided immediately.

He was sitting on the living room floor, his back against the couch, his knees drawn up to his chest, his hands covering his face.

Sam went over to him and sat down beside him. "Jack?" She enquired softly.

"You should be sleeping." He said, his voice raw.

"I'm fine. You're not. What's going on?" She asked.

He didn't reply. Sam reached forward and, with some difficulty, lifted his chin, so that she could look at his face.

What she saw shocked her. Jack's eyes were red, bloodshot, as if he'd been crying. Sam had never known Jack to cry, he wasn't exactly the type. His eyes were angry, becoming almost black with the emotion.

"Jack…" she began.

"Go back to bed." He said. _Ordered._

"No."

"No?"

"You're not going to push me away, Jack." She said, firmly.

"Sam, I almost got you…" Jack broke off and looked away, unable to finish.

"That's what this is? You think that was your fault?" Sam asked softly.

"It was."

"Jack, that wasn't your fault. I should have listened to you; I should have come to the base."

"I should have killed him." Jack said.

"That's not who you are." Sam said.

"That's where you're wrong."

Sam found herself remembering Jack's conversation with the then-ascended Daniel, in his cell at Baal's fortress.

_/"You're a better man than that."_

"_That's where you're wrong!"/_

"No, I'm not." She said. "And you're the only person that doesn't see that, Jack."

He looked at her.

Looking at him now, Sam could see all the different Jack O'Neill's she had seen on the memory screen. The innocent nine-year old; the angry fifteen year old; the young Air Force officer; the emotionally scarred man that came back from Iraq; the father, close to breakdown after losing his son, all of them were visible to her.

She pulled him to her, ignoring his best efforts to stop her. She held him, rocking him gently. "This wasn't your fault."

"I almost lost you." He said in a small voice.

"No, you didn't. I knew you'd be there. I knew you'd come for me. I knew you'd make it in time."

"How?"

"We don't leave our people behind." She said simply. She paused, "It's been a long week, huh?"

"Yeah." Jack replied. He looked up at her. "I love you." He said, wonderment in his voice, as if he'd just realised.

"Ya think?" She asked, finally getting him to smile.

"Can we do this?" He asked, gesturing between them.

"I think so. Do you?"

"I want to…"

"And when have you ever not done something you wanted to do?" Sam asked, teasing.

"For about eight years…" Jack said, but he was smiling, he was back.

Sam grinned. "I guess we should make up for lost time then, General."

He grinned back. "Oh yeah." He drawled, leaning forwards to kiss her.

5


End file.
